Stop the World
by Confessed4Life
Summary: After waking up in an unfamiliar place, Richard must fight to save not only himself, but the life and honor of the Mother Confessor, facing a bigger challenge than he ever imagined.  Please Read and Review 3
1. Chapter 1

Opening his eyes, he jumped at the sight of his new surroundings. He was in a stone room with no windows, no furniture and only one door. His eyes fell upon her almost instantly, the small square room making it difficult to miss the only other thing in the room. Kahlan was sitting across from him, beside the door with her knees pulled up to her chest. She didn't move as he sat up, it appeared as though she didn't know he was awake yet.

"Kahlan?" he whispered.

"You've been asleep for five days," she whispered. She stared at the cold, stone of the floor, her eyes red from crying.

Coming to his knees, he crawled toward her at last seeing the damage done to her dress and face. She had been beaten, he was sure of it and from the look of her dress and the Rada'Han around her neck; he knew they had done more. Her eyes remained locked on the floor, tears slowly leaking onto her cheeks as he came closer. "Spirits." Lifting her chin, he inspected the wounds. "Kahlan, look at me."

"You were asleep," she repeated again, just as softly as before.

"Look at me." Bringing her eyes to his, she stared blankly almost as though she didn't know who he was. "Are you all right?"

"They want to talk to you."

Wiping some of the blood from her cheek, he sighed. "Is that what they did to you?"

She looked away and said, "I didn't know the answers."

"What happened to us?"

"I don't know. The last thing I remember before this was waking you for your watch."

He sat down before her and grabbed her hands. He was supposed to protect her, keep her safe while she slept, but he had failed. "I'm so sorry, Kahlan."

She reached out, gently resting her left hand on his cheek. "I thought I had lost you."

The door creaked as it opened, giving Richard enough warning to push her behind him. The man who entered grinned widely at the sight. He was tall, from where Richard sat; he was almost twice his size. He had long, dark hair, tied back to keep it from getting in his way. There was blood on his white robes and there was no doubt that it was Kahlan's. He crossed his arms and stepped into the room, watching the Seeker carefully.

"I was beginning to believe that you weren't going to wake up. It would have been a shame to have you die without learning what we wanted to know." His voice was deep, echoing throughout their cell. "Your Confessor has been fun, but I can only play for a short while."

Kahlan held onto Richard's arms, keeping him in place as he attempted to attack the other man. "Don't."

"You should heed her warning. She learned quickly. It's painful, isn't it?" he asked her with a smile. "You see, there are no chains in this room, the door is unlocked and here she is waiting for me to return for more."

He looked back to her in confusion. "What is he talking about? You didn't try to escape?"

"She did try, many times. She managed to drag your body almost out of the room before she collapsed in pain. She may have made it, but she couldn't leave you here." Lifting his hand, he motioned to the door. "I've spelled the entire dungeon. Once you walk through this door, your blood begins to boil and that's just the beginning," he said as he turned around and walked to where Richard had been laying before. "Nine times. I thought she would have given up before then or at least left you and ran through the door, but she didn't." He was laughing, thrilled by the success of his trap.

"She dragged you halfway down the hallway; farther than anyone has ever gone. The more times she tried, the worse it got. She wouldn't have made it through another attempt. After a few tries, she attacked me and found herself in the same fate."

"What do you want from us?"

"You," he corrected. "The Confessor has nothing we can use."

Standing, Richard stepped toward the other man. "Then you will release her."

"I cannot. She is in love with you and if I were to free her, she would return with help. You will both remain here." Looking through the door, the man smiled again. "Take him; I'm going to speak with the Mother Confessor."

He cried out for her as they pulled him away, the look on her face told him exactly what was going to happen. He struggled against the men who held him, trying to get to her until she looked at him and shook her head. His body then went limp in their arms and allowed them to drag him from the room. The door closed and he cried out her name one last time, hoping she heard him. He was going to get her out of this and no one would ever hurt her again.

He blinked, but when he opened his eyes he was lying down with someone on top of him and he was naked. His vision was more than blurry and the brightness of the room around him made it difficult to keep his eyes open to adjust. His head pounded as though he had taken a beating and he knew he had lost more time. How long had he been unconscious and what had Kahlan been going through? Lifting his hands, he touched the person above him in an attempt to figure out who it was.

"Kahlan?"

"She's busy," the woman above him whispered, brushing her lips against his chin. "I'm here; I am to be your reward."

"Get off of me." His voice was filled with panic, unsure as to what was happening.

"Not until you have claimed your reward."

Turning his head, he tried to move his mouth as far away from hers as possible. The feel of her lips against his skin made him sick. "Reward for what?"

"You gave Sam everything he wanted." She moaned, pushing herself harder against him, the warmth between her legs giving away her desire. "It's an honor to be with a man like you. I've never been with a better looking man, one so large."

"I wish that I could say the same," he said quietly, his mind racing to find a way out; to Kahlan.

"I assure you, I am pleasing to your eyes. You will see soon enough." Her voice was throaty, her control on her arousal failing with each moment.

"It doesn't matter how you look, you're not Kahlan."

She licked his neck, slowly. "You can never have her..."

"No, but I don't want anyone else," he whispered, his sight slowly returning to normal. "Get off of me."

If the hard, cold tone of his voice frightened her, she showed no signs as she continued running her hands over him, trying to get a reaction from him. "I can't, I am bound to you until your release. Your body will want me soon enough."

He looked at her, at last seeing what lay above him. She was young, years younger than him and she had blonde hair. It was cut short and it spiked out in certain areas, making the green of her eyes stand out. "I will never want you."

"A man cannot keep his desire to himself." Sitting up above him, she revealed her naked body to him with a smile. "She doesn't have to know."

He looked away, not wanting to look upon her. "I don't want you."

She ran her hands over his chest, trying to please him, but it only made it worse. He pushed forward, knocking her off of him and onto the floor. Her body began to shake uncontrollably as she screamed out in horrific pain. Richard pulled her back on top of him as her skin turned red, parts of it appearing to be boiling. Once she was above him, it stopped instantly and she began gasping for air.

Sucking in large gulps of air, she tried to regain herself. "I told you, I am bound to you until your release."

"I will have no release with you."

She ran her hands over his chest again, slower than before as she rocked against him. "You feel my desire, let yours free..."

He grabbed her waist and held her still. "I have no desire for anyone but Kahlan."

With a heavy sigh, she arched her back and leaned backward and shook her head. Her hair grew instantly and changed color, matching Kahlan's perfectly. Her body changed before him, reshaping to match the Confessor's as well. When she sat straight again, his body responded. "Take her." Her voice was the same soft, beautiful ring as the woman he loved, frightening him.

"You're not Kahlan," he whispered breathlessly. He found it hard to look away, his body now craving the one above him.

"You will know no difference. You hardened the moment you saw this body. You desire this, more than anything. I am giving it to you."

Bringing his eyes to hers, he stared into the now blue, ocean eyes that belonged to the woman he loved. "It's not yours to give."

"How can you care so much for a Confessor? You can never be with her, except for now." She moved over him slowly, pressing her chest against his and watching in delight as he closed his eyes and parted his lips.

His desire and need for her was pressed against her stomach, there was no denying his arousal. "How will he know?"

"He always knows."

"I can't."

Grabbing his hands, she lifted them over his head and held them firmly. "You don't have a choice. Your precious Confessor will never know."

She shifted above him, making him moan loudly. "I will."

Bringing her lips to his ear, she traced her tongue over it. "You've wanted me for a while, wanted to feel yourself within me as I called out your name. You've already imagined my nails pushing into your skin, my lips moving with yours as I wrapped my legs around you and pull you in deeper..."

He was panting, his heart racing as he imagined her words. "Kahlan..."

Releasing his arms, she began kissing his neck, making her way to his lips as she reached for him. He stopped her hand and tried to focus his mind. Opening his eyes, he met hers. "I love you, Richard."

Pulling her to him, he kissed her passionately with everything he had within him. The moan that escaped him as he slid within her warmth, echoed throughout the stone room. It was loud; it mixed with hers and something else. He opened his eyes as he stopped kissing her looking around the room for the other sound, but there was nothing. She continued to rock against him, ignoring his protests as she continued her own pleasure.

"Stop," he whispered, trying to hold her still.

She brought her lips to his with a low moan. "You can make this end right now."

Kissing him, she brought one of his hands to her breasts and rocked roughly against him. She panted his name in Kahlan's voice, filling his mind with her alone, making it impossible for him to think of stopping. He leaned his head back and squeezed his eyes shut, focusing only on the woman in his mind. Her touch was different; her kiss was nothing like Kahlan's and he could feel the difference fully. He was betraying her and he couldn't help the feeling that somehow, she knew. The moment of his release, he pushed her away and sat forward. There was no pain.

He jumped as the door opened and Sam walked inside with a smile. "I have to admit, I didn't think that you would fight it. And not only did you fight it, your body couldn't respond to another." He bent down and lifted the naked woman from the floor by the arm as she changed her appearance once again. "Personally, I prefer this one." He looked over to the wall on his right and smiled. "What do you think?" Richard was confused. There was no one else in the room, but as the other man walked around him, he saw her. Kahlan was sitting against the wall, staring at him in tears. "What do you think?" She looked to the other woman who stood at the man's side, naked. She was running her hand over his chest as she looked to Richard. "You will answer me." Sam said coldly.

"She is beautiful."

He nodded and turned around, pushing the other woman onto the Seeker. "He doesn't appear to agree. She had to look like you for him to become a man. The sight of you alone hardens him, even knowing he can never have you." He lifted her by the shoulders, keeping her back against the wall. "With this metal, you are harmless and I will-"

"Get away from her," Richard growled, attempting to stand up. The other woman held him tightly, making him lift her as well as he moved toward Sam. "Don-"

"You had your pleasure; it's only fair that she experience the same." His free hand slid over her stomach as he looked at Richard. Kahlan turned her head away and closed her eyes; her arms limp at her sides. "She watched you have your way with another woman, the least you can do is-"

Richard threw himself at him, ignoring the piercing pain that shot through his body. He slammed his fists into his face, trying to bring him as much pain as he could before he passed out from his own pain. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to the wall for safety. Using her own body as a shield, she raised her hands in defense of the man she loved.

"He didn't mean to-"

"How can you defend him? You watched him take another woman and empty himself within her." He laughed, sitting up and moving to his feet. "We can show him how it felt. Let him watch us."

"No," she said in a soft whisper.

Grabbing her arms, he pulled her on top of him. "You are beautiful." His hands ran over her stomach and chest as he shifted his hips beneath her. "Show him how it felt."

"Never."

"I do not need your permission. You cannot hurt me; I can simply take you."

Leaning down, she brought her face close to his and smiled. "You touch me and he will remove your head with his own hands."

"You have so much faith in the man who betrayed you. I could take you now, he can't move and by the time he can, I will have had you more times than his eyes could handle."

Shaking her head, she pushed her hand against his throat and pushed. "You underestimate the Seeker."

"Of course," he laughed. Kahlan moved off of him and slowly backed up to Richard, who watched her carefully. "I suppose I should test this theory of yours."

He moved quickly, grabbing her dress and ripping it open before she had even known he moved. Richard struggled to move, trying to force his body to move as her cry echoed through the room. Sam ran his hands over her, smiling as she struggled against him. His eyes shifted to the Seeker every few seconds, wanting to see his face as he watched. She brought her knee up quickly, slamming it between his legs as hard as she could.

A cry of pain escaped her as well, though it didn't keep her from crawling to the other side of the room. The other woman laughed at the sight, knowing what her master would do now that she had fought back. If she had remained still, pretended that it didn't bother her, he would have lost all interest, but now he had to have her. Standing, he grinned widely and began walking toward her. He unlaced his pants as his eyes locked on hers, making sure that she knew what he was planning to do. He enjoyed each moment of fear as he took another step closer.

The thin, cotton dress she was wearing was split open down the middle, exposing her almost completely as she pushed her back against the wall. Richard didn't know when she had changed. Her eyes were wide, red from the pain that was clearly still running through her. Pushing her shoulders back, she lifted her head and waited. He was inches from her when his pants fell to the ground and he gave a soft laugh. Pushing himself against her, he held her against the wall, keeping her from being able to move away from him.

"You've asked for it, Confessor."

He grabbed her breast with one hand as he reached for himself with his other. The room was dead quiet, the silence screaming in a way that made her go deaf. The world around her slowed and she caught a glimpse of something moving toward them. She stared over the man's shoulder, watching as Richard rushed across the room in a run. Sam didn't have a moment to think before he felt hands take hold of his neck and squeeze. There was a soft snap that echoed for an instant before Kahlan fell into his arms.

He struggled to hold her as he dropped to his knees, both ignoring the shrieking cry of the other woman. Hugging her close, he inched them away from the man's unmoving body. He wasn't sure that he was dead. There was only a moment of pain when he grabbed the man's neck and he feared that it could not be so easy. She had her face pressed into his chest, trying to hide her tears as she clung to him. Her fingers dug into the back of his shoulders, trying to pull him as close as possible.

Her body shook in his arms; he knew it wasn't from the cold. "We have to get out of here." She didn't move. "Kahlan?"

There was a long silence. He began to fear that something was wrong when, at last, she spoke. "I don't think I can move yet."

Tightening his arms around her, he sighed. "All right." 


	2. Chapter 2

Their escape was slow, Sam's guards had come in and one by one, they attacked with full force. Kahlan had taken one of the guard's knives and without a sound; she killed every man who came close. There was no emotion on her face, even when they left the small prison. She walked silently beside him, clinging to her dress to hold it closed. He walked close to her, hoping to help keep her warmer as they figured out where they were. The forest around them was nothing like he had seen before.

The sound of flowing water seemed to perk her mood; she spoke for the first time in over a day. "Can we sleep here for the night?"

It wasn't a place he would have suggested, not wanting to risk anyone coming upon them while trying to get water, but the way she looked out at it made him change his mind. "If you-"

"I want to wash it off of me," she whispered, bringing her eyes to him.

"All right. I'll find us something to eat."

She didn't wait for him to leave. Walking quickly, she went to the water and tossed what was left of the dress into the dirt as she moved deeper. She couldn't pull the image of Richard from her mind. Seeing him with another woman, a woman who looked like her made her wish that it was she he had been with. She was wearing a Rada'Han; her magic wouldn't be able to destroy him. His body responded to the sight of her, she watched it happen and it thrilled her.

No man has ever desired a Confessor, but he- It was something she had tried to deny, but now she couldn't keep the images from her mind. Dunking her head under the water, she held her breath in an attempt to focus on something other than the imaginings of his hands upon her. It was useless; nothing would ever take the thoughts from her mind. She gasped for air as she emerged from the water, turning to Richard who stared out in concern.

Her nod eased his mind, telling him that she was all right. He had looked up, after starting the fire to cook the rabbits he had caught and she wasn't there. He had been moments from jumping in after her when she reemerged. Sitting back onto the ground, he brought his eyes back to the food in an attempt to give her some privacy. She was nearly under the waterfall and the thought made it nearly impossible to keep his eyes off of her.

The rabbits were done cooking, but he refrained from calling out to her. To keep himself busy, he folded her dress and laid it by the fire. With it ripped open and the cooling air, she would need some help to get warm after her bath. He wished they had found the clothes she had been wearing or maybe some blankets, but they didn't find anything other than his clothes dropped carelessly outside of the room. He had offered her his shirt, knowing that it would cover her a little more than her dress, but she refused.

Looking out to the water again, he jumped to his feet and called her name. There was no reply and she was nowhere in sight. Pulling his shirt over his head, he raced to the water and jumped in. He searched the water in a panic, calling her name every time he brought his head up for air. Coming to the waterfall, he swam under desperately. Kahlan was a few feet away, pulling at the Rada'Han around her neck as she cried. The sound of the rushing water would have drowned out all other sounds; she wouldn't have heard him calling for her.

His heart pounded in relief as he moved closer, reaching a hand out to comfort them both. She jumped at his hand on her shoulder, too lost in thought to notice him beside her. Taking her hands into his, he pulled them away from the cold metal. She stared at the water, afraid to look into his eyes and have him see what she had been thinking. He could never know.

"I'm going to find a way to get this off of you." His voice sounded soft, but she was sure he was yelling, the crash of the water around them was too loud for it to have been the whisper she heard. "Kahlan, I promise. You will be yourself again."

It was just like Richard to say something like that, she thought as she nodded. She had been thinking about how this could be the only chance she would have to be with him and the thought didn't cross his mind. She wanted it off of her instantly, the feel of it around her neck, suppressing her magic, only made her desire for him grow. She was naked before him, but his eyes never strayed from her face, and the water was clear enough for him to view her without restrictions. She wanted him to look at her; and see the same desire she felt within him. Abandoning all thought, she reached out for him and pulled herself close.

He returned her kiss without hesitation as he wrapped his arms around her. The feel of her pressed against him made his heart pound. She turned him away from the falling water and pushed his back against the rock of the wall of the small cave around them. Her hands ran smoothly over his shoulders and back, sliding lower in an attempt to get closer. He pulled his head back as she reached between them and grabbed the top of his pants. She ignored her name leaving his lips in caution, her desire for him too strong to keep at bay any longer.

Grabbing her hands, Richard pulled them from the laces of his pants and pushed her back. "You don't want to do this."

"Yes, I do," she breathed out, instantly knowing that he was able to hear her soft words.

Shaking his head, he released her hands and grabbed her face gently. "This isn't you."

She pushed away from him, breaking their contact. "What if it's not?" she snapped, hurt by his decision to stop her when he hadn't stop the other woman. "It didn't stop you before!"

He swam after her, making sure she wasn't able to get away from him. "You know that I never wanted to-"

"Yes you did," she interrupted, trying to pull out of his hold.

"I wanted to be with you."

"You were."

"How can you say that?" he questioned in shock. "You saw everything. You know that it wasn't her that I wanted."

Turning around to face him, she met his eyes. "She gave you me."

"No, she gave me someone who looked like you." His voice was calm, surprising her when she knew that he was angry that she had accused of wanting to be with another woman because she looked like her. "Kahlan, you know me better than that. I betrayed you and you're angry; I understand, but don't you for a second believe that I wanted to do it." His eyes were locked on hers, making sure that she understood his words to be true. "I didn't want to hurt you. I- After what I did, you shouldn't want to be near me." He sighed, looking down to the metal around her neck. "And you- Kahlan, when you're wearing this, you're not you."

"Yes, I am," she whispered. His right hand had come up to the Rada'Han as she spoke, his fingers lightly touching the cold metal. Taking hold of his hand, she held it in place as she moved closer. "I just can't hurt you anymore."

Cupping her cheeks, he pressed his forehead against hers and sighed. "You could never hurt me, not with your magic."

"I wanted to be her," she admitted quietly, almost ashamed of her own desire.

"I wanted it to be you too."

Grabbing his arms, she pushed closer and closed her eyes. "Please..."

Their lips connected with a slow kiss, their bodies pressing together gently as they pulled each other close. Her hands were between them almost instantly, trying to remove his pants before he pulled away again. His kiss was filled with passion and just as desperate as hers. She knew he still had doubt, but she couldn't let him stop them.

The water made it difficult to remove his pants, the khaki fabric sticking to him as though they were a part of him. Richard grabbed her legs and wrapped them around him, pushing her back against the wall as he moved to deepen their kiss. She pulled him nearer, holding him to her as she rocked against him. He couldn't get close enough; the water around them seemed to be pulling them apart while they fought to remain together. He broke their kiss as his pants floated to the surface and looked around.

The cave was deeper than it had appeared and there was a ledge of dry rock that would keep them out of the water. Pulling away, he grabbed her hand and brought her along with him, lifting her carefully out of the water while his eyes devoured her form. The way he looked at her made her heart pound and her body ache. He eased her back, running his hands over her as he lifted himself above her. His lips covered her body slowly, teasing her before his tongue slid out for a taste. Grabbing his hair, she panted his name and gasped for more.

The sounds of her moans echoed throughout the cave, almost drowning out the rushing water, making it impossible for him to concentrate. His hands continued to move over her as he brought his lips to hers. His desire pressed against her stomach, waiting for release as he expected her to stop him. To his delight and surprise, she reached between them and took hold of him. A light gasp of her name left him as the only way he could warn her that her touch could make it end before they had begun.

She brought him to her entrance and released a long moan as he pushed into her. Richard dropped his head to the crook of her neck with a grunt, trying to remain still as her body adjusted to his. Pushing her fingers into his back, she encouraged him move as she lifted herself up to meet him. Lifting his head, he took her face in his hands and waited for her to open her eyes and look at him.

"Are you sure?"

She could only nod once, words failing her as she looked into his eyes, the pleasure of their union burning within them and matching her own. Their lips connected as he shifted himself above her, their hands clinging to each other as they moved together. It thrilled her. In all her life, she had never imagined anything like this. He needed to touch her anywhere and everywhere, wanting to hear her gasp his name again and again. Each moan, gasp and whimper he heard from her drove him insane.

Grabbing one of her breasts, he began sucking on the soft skin, just below the Rada'Han, thriving off of her pleasure. She never wanted him to stop. Hooking her leg over his, she pulled him harder against her. She felt her release coming; his name began leaving her lips in a constant moan as he sent her flying over the edge of passion. He followed almost instantly, grunting as he pushed his face into her chest.

Her fingers ran through his hair as he rested above her, their bodies still connected as they gathered their breaths. With his eyes closed, he listened to the pounding of her heart, racing as he trailed his fingers up and down her sides. Her skin was soft, softer than he had ever imagined and the feel of it against his was heaven. He wished this could be their life, wished that all they had was each other and he was able to love her the way he always wanted.

It was a dream and though they had been together this evening, it mustn't happen again. The metal around her neck kept apart of her locked away and he couldn't settle for a part of her. He now understood completely why she wouldn't confess him. It wasn't only because she cared about him, but because it would lock away a part of him as well. Their love was lost between them.

Lifting his head from her chest, he kissed her deeply as he rolled them onto their sides. He never wanted to lose contact with her; the feel of her body against his was all he ever wanted. Kahlan brought herself closer, pushing her head beneath his chin as she took in a deep breath. She had expected him to smell like the water, but his scent was entirely the same. Never before had the smell of the forest make her weak.

"You're freezing," he said after a while, her body shaking against his. "We should get you by the fire."

Shaking her head, she tried to get closer. "I don't want to move."

Grinning, he pulled his head back to look at her. She looked peaceful, her eyes closed as she took in slow, deep breaths. "Even if I carried you?"

"We'd drown," she said through a light laugh.

"I'd never let anything happen to you."

Opening her eyes, she smiled. "I know." With a soft sigh of discontent, she sat up and looked back at him. "Let's go."

His smile widened as she eased herself into the water, hissing lightly at its coolness. For the first time, he noticed the water around her. It was glowing, lighting the small cave as though there was a large source of light. It made it easy for him to see through the water as she turned around toward him with a grin. "What?"

"It's getting warmer." Leaning back, she moved her hair through the slow flowing water to help warm her.

His eyes fell to her breasts as they peaked out of the water. Her body was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, the flawless porcelain skin that was decorated by freckles. The sight took the breath from his lungs. He couldn't tear his eyes off of her, even as she tossed his pants onto the ledge beside him. She moved closer, grabbing his legs and pulling them into the water.

He was sitting on the edge of the ledge, his legs bent at the knees in the water and his manhood inches from her face. His desire more than obvious, but her eyes were locked on his. The pounding of his heart was so loud, he was sure she could hear it. With her hands on his thighs, she lifted herself out of the water. It happened slowly; he could see each drop of water fall downward as she leaned close to him. The low growl that escaped his throat gave her the courage to continue.

As their lips connected, she took him in her hand and slowly began messaging him. He held onto her face, keeping her close as he deepened their kiss. She stopped suddenly and lowered herself back into the water, leaving him desperately wanting more. Moving quickly, he lifted her back to him so that she sat above him. She went willingly, settling above him as he took her breasts in his hands. He entered her almost instantly, filling her completely.

Her gasp of his name echoed in his ear as she clung to him. His forehead was pressed against her shoulder, his eyes closed as she rocked above, trying to help him last a few moments longer. She arched her back with a loud cry of passion, her body quaking around him in release. Pushing his fingers into the back of her shoulders, he dragged them down her back as he emptied himself within her. In a quick moment, he allowed himself to pray that he had given her everything. He wanted a child with her.

She collapsed in his arms, her entire body completely relaxed in his arms as she rested her head against his shoulder. He liked holding her this way, feeling her in his arms as though nothing else existed and nothing could pull them apart. From the way she clung to him, he knew that she felt it too. Tightening his arms around her, he closed his eyes and leaned back, wanting to hold her against him as long as possible.

Lifting her head from his chest, she grinned down at him. "What are you thinking?"

Opening his eyes, he tucked a few damp strands of hair behind her left ear and smiled. "I was thinking about how I wanted this to last forever and how I never want to let you go. What were you thinking?"

Giving him a quick kiss, she returned her head to his chest and then whispered. "I'm thinking that I have never felt safer."

"Kahlan, I-"

"When you hold me like this, I feel safe, loved... and at home."

"I'm never going to let you go, Kahlan."

Her eyes slid closed for a moment, trying to keep from believing him. "I don't want you to."

He knew what was running through her mind and he hated that she thought about it. "Removing the Rada'Han will not change anything."

"It will change everything. That's why I wanted it off." He felt her tears fall onto his chest as she spoke, her whispers louder than he anticipated. "All I could think about was being with you and I knew- I know that once this comes off, we can never be together. As long as I wear this, I can't hurt you."

"I will find a way, Kahlan."

Lifting herself from his body, she moved away and handed him his pants. "I'm a Confessor. There is no way." Slipping back into the water, she disappeared through the falls.


	3. Chapter 3

She sat close to the fire, eating the pieces of rabbit that Richard had prepared before he had gone into the water after her. The dress kept her warmer than she had thought, but she didn't want to break their silence to thank him for laying it beside the fire. He was sitting on the other side, his pants on the rock her dress had been on while his shirt laid across his legs. She fought the urge to look at him, to whisper his name and beg him to hold her the way he had done behind the waterfall. She would get no sleep tonight.

He caught her looking at him, but said nothing. When it appeared that she was going to say something, she ended up pushing a piece of meat into her mouth to keep quiet. He couldn't stop imagining her against him, the thought filling his mind completely. He had never known that side of her existed; she had looked up from the water, her eyes locked on his as she took him in her hand. She had teased his lips, running her tongue over them before allowing his to capture hers. He whispered her name.

Their eyes locked and she knew what he was thinking. He had balled up part of his shirt in his hand, his knuckles white from squeezing so hard. His mouth was open as he panted; the feel of her hands around him fresh in his mind. Her body began to respond to the look in his eyes, making her heart pound as it had before.

Standing up, he let the shirt fall to the ground without a care. Her eyes fell instantly, looking at his manhood for a moment before forcing herself to look away. He was beside her within moments, dropping to his knees and taking her face in his hands. She leaned into him, returning his kiss in full as he pushed the dress from her shoulders. Pushing forward, he laid over her, easing her to the ground as his hands explored her once again.

******

She lay against him, her head resting on his chest as she struggled to find her breath. He was holding her tightly, afraid that somehow she would vanish from his arms. They both glistened in sweat, their bodies exhausted and unable to move as they came down from their highs. He kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer, finding that she could never be close enough. Her right leg was laying over his, making it possible for him to hold her as close as he could.

The heat of the fire warmed her back, protecting her from the cooling winds that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. She smiled widely, lost in the happiness of the moment. He traced his fingers along her spine, enjoying the subtle way she pushed into him. Remembering that they were out in the open, he pulled her dress over them, covering her in the best way that he could.

He stared up at the sky as her breathing slowed, her body drifting into sleep. The color of the sky was different than usual, lighter than he had ever seen it as though it wasn't as late as he thought. The water still glowed and the trees seemed to sing with the wind. This was like nothing he had ever known. He blinked and for a moment, they were back in the stone cell.

She lifted her head as he jumped, the fear of being back taking over his body. He was squeezing his eyes shut while tightening his hold on her, trying to make himself believe that it hadn't been real.

"What's wrong?" He shook his head and forced a small smile, opening his eyes to meet hers. "Did you see it too?"

"What?"

"That room," she whispered. "Every time I close my eyes, I'm back there again and then... I'm here."

"It's not real," he told her tenderly. Pulling her back down against him, he began running his fingers through her hair to comfort them both. "It can't be."

"Can't it? Everything about this is different. Everything about that place was-"

"I killed him."

"I know, but it didn't hurt you. If you killed him, the pain of his magic would have killed you."

Shaking his head, he sighed. It had been on his mind since they left, but he didn't want to believe it. "I don't think he thought I would hurt him."

"He couldn't have known, he-"

"I think that he wanted you to fight him," he said quietly. "He knew that you didn't want him to touch you. He knew what I know. Kahlan if he got any closer to you, you would have fought him with everything you had. The pain wouldn't have stopped you."

"Why would he want me to fight him?"

"Because he would feel more power in taking you."

Closing her eyes, she remembered that moment. "I wouldn't have fought him. I knew that I didn't have to. You wouldn't let him- and then I saw you over his shoulder."

"I don't know how you can have such faith in me."

He felt her smile against his chest, his heart now racing rapidly all over again. "You have never let me down."

"Yes, I have. Kahlan, I have let you down in so many ways."

Once again, she lifted her head from his chest and looked down at him. "You're only thinking about what happened in that room, aren't you?"

"I never wanted to hurt you."

Nodding, she gave him a small smile. "I know."

Rubbing his thumb across her cheek, he sighed. "I wish that I could take it back."

"You didn't do anything wrong."

"I betrayed you. You had to sit there and watch as I-"

"You didn't have a choice."

"Yes I did."

She lifted herself a little higher, making sure that he was looking at her as she spoke. "I was there, remember? I saw it all and I know that you didn't have a choice. And I saw the way you kissed her when she looked like me."

"Kahlan, I-"

"You wanted to be with me and I'm- When you kissed her, I realized how much I wished it was me."

His hand was still resting against her cheek, his thumb lightly touching her lips. Slowly, he traced over her bottom lip, watching as she parted her lips. Her breath was warm, hitting his thumb as he let it linger in the center. They were still red and slightly puffy from the passionate kiss they had shared over and over again as they made love. They were soft, beckoning him to come closer.

"I won't betray you again."

She nodded, knowing that he meant it more than almost anything he had ever said. Her Confessor's magic was never needed with him; he didn't hide anything from her.

"Before, when we were in the water- When you looked at me... What did you think?"

He smiled widely. "You're beautiful, Kahlan." Brushing his hand down her arm, he brought her closer to him. "You're the most beautiful woman created. You're perfect."

Leaning down, she gave him a quick kiss and returned her head to his chest. Even though they both knew something was wrong, she didn't want to waste another moment thinking when she could slip into the peace of his arms.

******

Opening her eyes, Kahlan froze. She was still in Richard's arms, naked, but they were no longer outside. The chilling sight of the gray stone filled her with a sickness. From the slow and steady pounding beneath his chest, she knew he was still asleep and she was afraid to wake him. Carefully, she shifted her body in an attempt to look around without waking him.

Sam was sitting on a high stool, his arms crossed across his chest with a smile on his face. He was still alive. Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees and folded his fingers together. "You didn't truly believe you had escaped did you? I could never allow you to leave before I had my fun."

She sat up, moving to cover herself from his view. "What fun?" she whispered, not yet wanting to wake the man beside her.

"I have to admit, I didn't think that you had it in you. The things you let him do to you; that you did to him. He's going awaken a very happy man."

"What do you want from us?"

He laughed, loudly and it echoed even louder throughout the stone room. Richard woke instantly. "You are my toys. You see, you both believe that you spent the night together-"

"We did," Richard stated, pulling her closer to him for protection.

"I had the Confessor."

His jaw clenched in anger, "You're lying."

"You've seen what I am capable of. I think we all know that what I said is true. You should be thanking me, Seeker. I pleased her in ways you have only been able to imagine."

"You didn't touch her!" he shouted him anger.

Sam's smile grew wider at his reaction, pleased. Looking to Kahlan, he moved his eyes over her. "You're the most beautiful woman created. You're perfect."

She stared at him in disbelief, her heart now pounding in her ears as she began to doubt what had happened. She looked at Richard, who stared at her the way he did the night before. "No..."

"You see?"

"You're lying," she said after a moment. "You never touched me."

"How can you be sure?"

Straightening her back, she lifted her head and locked eyes with their captor. "You could never touch me the way he does. You don't have the equipment to make love to a woman."

He was angry with her now, his game spoiled by her refusal to believe his lie. Her insult was the last of his patience. Standing, he stepped forward and slammed the back of his hand against her cheek, sending her sideways into the wall before falling into Richards awaiting arms. His voice whispering her name was the last thing she heard.

******

"Kahlan?" He said her name quietly, hoping that if she was to now wake up, Sam wouldn't hear.

She opened her eyes and then closed them quickly until they were ready to adjust to the light. "Where is he?"

"I don't know. He left right after- He hasn't been back in hours." Helping her to sit up, Richard wrapped his arm around her shoulder to help keep her still naked body warm. "How did you know- Before, when he said that you hadn't been with me, how did you know he was lying?"

The small smile on her face was almost surprising. "I knew because I saw into your eyes."

"Yes, but that's not how you knew."

Taking his left hand in both of hers, and brought his thumb up to her lips. "Because you did this." She traced his thumb across her bottom lip and then smiled. "Before we were here, you used to do that when you thought I was asleep."

"You knew? Why didn't you say anything?"

Her smile widened for a moment before fading completely. "Because talking wasn't what came to my mind."

He grinned and pulled her closer, resting his head against hers as she laid it against his shoulder. "How's your head?"

"It hurts," she said softly, not wanting to tell him that the sight in one of her eyes was nearly black. "I must have hit the wall harder than I thought." She smiled, pushing the thought from her mind. "How long was I unconscious?"

"A few hours. He looked in on you a few times."

"What do you mean?"

"He came by, made sure you were alive and then left. I think he was afraid that he had hurt you."

She shook her head against his shoulder in confusion. "I don't understand. He didn't seem to care before."

Richard gave a light laugh and pulled her closer. "I think he cares for you."

"He couldn't."

"I think you underestimate your effect on men." She pulled back and looked at him in disbelief. "You don't need your magic to make men care about you." The smile on his face widened as he watched her think about what he said. "You're much more than that."

From the look on her face, he knew that she didn't believe him. "Why would he care for me?" she questioned softly, willing to play along with his theory. "He's holding us captive."

Richard nodded and turned his waist, now almost facing her completely. "I can't remember him asking me any questions."

"She said that she was your reward," Kahlan told him quietly. "He must have asked-"

"I know, but I don't remember anything after they pulled me away from you. One minute I was in the hall, calling your name and the next, I was naked on the floor."

Tilting her head, she inched closer to him. "You were gone for a day."

"What happened to you?" He had wanted to ask before, his mind assuming what he feared to learn. He noticed the way Sam looked at her; there was no doubt in his mind on how he felt about her.

"After you left, he just stood there and stared at me like he had done before."

"Before?"

She looked away, realizing that he didn't know what had happened before he first awoke and found himself in that cold, stone room. "After we first arrived, when he would question me... He never touched me, his men did... He would lean against the wall and watch."

Richard followed her gaze to the wall across from them. The way she stared at it made him believe that she could still imagine him leaning against it, watching as his men touched her. "What did they do to you?"

She put his mind at ease instantly. "Not that. He wouldn't let them. He said that when the time came, I wasn't to be touched." And just as quickly, the thought returned to his mind. "He hasn't touched me, Richard."

"He almost did."

Looking back to him, she wrapped her arms around his. "And you stopped him."

"If I had stopped him, we wouldn't be here." He was still staring at the wall, his mind unable to forget what had happened. "I failed you again."

Resting her head against his shoulder, Kahlan tightened his arms around his and sighed. "No, you didn't." It was all she could think to say and she knew that it would mean nothing to him.

Grabbing her hand, he swallowed and let out the breath he had been holding. "How can you say that? After everything you've gone through, how can you say that I haven't failed you?"

"After everything that I've gone through? Richard, I haven't gone through anything that you should be blamed for."

"You're here because of me."

She wanted to laugh, to tell him that it wasn't his fault, but she knew that her words wouldn't change the way he felt. "Did you bring me here?"

"No."

"It's not your fault," she replied simply, closing her eyes. Her head was pounding and the sight in her right eye was now completely gone. "It's not your fault."

Drawling her in closer, he shifted his body to shield her from the next person who came through the door. Her breathing slowed as he tightened his hold on her, knowing that she was safest in his arms. Just as she was about to fall asleep, the door opened and Sam walked in. Kahlan didn't move, her eyes still closed in the hope that he would believe that she was still unconscious.

"She's wrong, you know," he stated loudly. "It is your fault. Everything that we have done to her and will do is all because of you."

Lifting her head, Kahlan stared at the other man coldly. "Why? What has he done to you?"

"Me?" Sam laughed. "This is not a vengeance I am acting upon. This is my..." He rolled his hand at the wrist as though he wanted her to finish his sentence for him. "game. Yes, game. You see, I sent my men out to find me someone and they bring you to me. The Mother Confessor, herself! The woman who took my kingdom from me and gave it to my brother." He stepped in close to them and knelt down before them. "You think that what you have gone through is anything? I have not yet begun what I have planned. You are going to regret your every breath."

Reaching out, he brushed his fingers across her cheek and looked at Richard, who was unable to move. "This time has allowed me to know what will hurt her most. She has feelings for you and the one thing she will not be able to stand is hurting you." He smiled, pulled his hand back and slapped her across the face. "And hurting her hurts you." He hit her again, laughing as Richard tried to stop him. Standing, he pulled Kahlan to the center of the room by her hair. "Let's begin, shall we?"


	4. Chapter 4

He didn't know how long it had been. Time seemed to slow as he watched Kahlan hang by her wrists in the center of the room. She watched him every second she could, trying to find comfort in his eyes as they cut into her skin. Cries of pain filled the room, burning into his ears as blood poured onto the floor. There was no sign of it ending.

Sam stood back and watched her bleed, waiting until she passed out before sealing the wound closed. He would wait a short while longer before he'd wake her and begin again. Whatever magic he was using to keep her alive, Richard was grateful for it. She would never survive the things he did to her without it. When he grew tired of the simple cuts, he moved for something stronger.

Richard reached out for her, calling her name in anguish. He wanted so badly to run to her and comfort her, but he couldn't move. He shouted his love for her, trying to take her mind off of the pain being inflicted upon her body. From where he knelt on the floor, her left arm was barely hanging onto her body as Sam continued working with the long blade. Her cry of pain never ceasing to break him.

Lowering her to her knees, he kicked her until she opened her eyes and begged him to stop. He wanted her awake for what happened next. She tried to pull away, crying out for him to stop, but it only made his smile grow. The sound of the next scream that left her lips nearly made Richard pass out. She cried out to the spirits, begging them to intervene as he removed her index finger. He watched in delight as she gasped for air, trying to deal with the horrific pain that flooded her body. Her world went black.

"Kahlan!" Richard shouted her name as Sam woke her yet again. "Stop it!" he cried, tears streaming down his face as he watched her eyes open. "Leave her alone!"

"I will do as I please!" Sam snapped.

The next four hours were unbearable. Richard slammed his fist into the stone wall, swearing and cursing the spirits for what they were allowing to happen. By the time their captor stopped, Kahlan was pale, appearing to be death on her knees. Blood was dripping from her hands, joining the puddles beneath her as well as running down her body. Her eyes were open, staring at the floor as she waited, in terror, what was to come.

He left her there, dangling in the center of the room in her own blood. The moment the door was closed, Richard ran to her in tears. He tried to sooth her, telling her that she was going to be all right and he would make the other man suffer for what he had done; that he loved her. Untying her hands, he pulled her into his arms and began rocking her as he sobbed. Her hands were still bleeding and he had nothing to stop it.

The door opened and another man walked in. Richard's first instinct was to kill the man, but he couldn't let go of Kahlan. They hadn't seen the man before, he was young, no older than eighteen and he couldn't bring his eyes to look at any of the blood. Laying a large bowl on the floor before them, he gave them a set of small towels and a small vile of a glowing liquid.

"This will stop the bleeding." He rushed from the room, afraid that he would be in trouble for speaking to them.

He didn't waste any time. He poured the liquid over her hands, watching as the skin seemed to burn closed. She pulled part of her arm into her mouth, biting to stop the sound of her scream. She was unconscious again within moments.

******

Kahlan jumped at his touch, terrified of what was happening. "It's all right," he whispered, brushing his fingers through her hair. "It's just me." She opened her mouth to speak, but didn't know what to say. "I did what I could, but I- Kahlan, your eye..." He didn't have to finish his sentence; the look in his eyes told her everything. "I'm so sorry."

She reached up and found his face, gently cupping his cheek in what was left of her hand. The sight made her sick. She brought her hand back quickly and tried to cover it, to hide it from him, but he took it in his. She whimpered instantly for him not to touch her.

Bringing her hand to his lips, he kissed the top gently. She was missing three fingers on her right hand, leaving only the thumb and pinky. Sam had cut close to the knuckles, leaving hardly anything at all. The left had two remaining fingers; Richard assumed it had been so that he would have more to remove when he returned to them. Tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes as she squeezed them shut, unable to understand how he was able to kiss the mangled skin.

Laying her hand onto her stomach, he smiled warmly and reached into the bucket the other man had brought in before. The rag he brought to her face was stained with blood; he had used it to clean the blood from her body before moving her away from the pool of blood still staining the floor. She turned her head away from him, her eyes falling instantly to the red floor with a soft cry of remembrance. He moved to block her view, wanting to take her mind off of what had just happened, the best he could. Cupping her chin in his hand, he moved her head to look at his face as he leaned down close.

He pressed his forehead against hers and blinked out a set of tears, thankful that she had survived. The three days she had been asleep had driven him mad. He had begun to fear that she would never wake up. His lips found hers and he kissed her deeply, holding onto her face as he tried to stop the tears. She tried to keep her hands still, not wanting to touch him with what was left and remind him that she was damaged.

Richard pulled back as another round of tears hit his hands. "I was so afraid you wouldn't wake up," he whispered as he met her eyes. "I can't lose you, Kahlan."

She nodded her head slowly, still not knowing what to say. He brought the cloth back to her face, lightly wiping the tears before resting it against her forehead. Since she had fallen into his arms, he had been planning their captor's death without end and he wanted so badly to tell her she would soon be free, but he couldn't. He had already failed her more than he could bear, he didn't want to do it again. Keeping quiet, he continued to run the damp cloth over her, giving her the small comfort of being touched gently. It made her cry all the more.

The need to be in his arms grew with each passing second. She wanted to feel safe and she wanted to remember what it felt like, but she was terrified to ask. Staring up at the ceiling, Kahlan forced herself to stop crying. It had to be upsetting him and she didn't want him to feel as though he had done something wrong. The silence drew his concerned attention and at once, he took her face in his hands and whispered her name.

"H-Ld e?"

She barely got the sounds out, but he understood her perfectly. Lying down beside her, he pulled her against him, wrapping his arms tenderly around her. She brought her hands to his chest and let out the loud sob she had been holding in, at last feeling safe enough to let go. Richard brushed his fingers through her hair and softly whispered to her. He told her of his love, the way he would dream about her every time his eyes closed and then he told her that he would kill the man who brought her this pain. He would see to it that she would be safe forever.

"I love you, Richard."

He was grateful to hear her voice, but his heart stopped at her words, knowing immediately what she was thinking. "You're not going to die," he told her. "I'm not going to lose you."

"I'm not going to survive another- When he returns, I will die."

"If you die, it will be because you have given up and don't you dare give up on me, Kahlan!" He nearly shouted, needing her to listen to him. "If you give up, it's not just you who will die. I won't live without you."

"Good, you've woken." Neither had heard the door open, but they didn't jump at the sound of his voice. Rage was, again, flowing through Richard's veins as he listened to the man walking to them. He wouldn't be able to hold Kahlan for much longer. "How are the hands, Mother Confessor?"

Kahlan pushed out of his hold and sat up, preparing herself for what was to come. She was going to accept the worst, now that she had told Richard that she loved him. She had no reason to fight anymore. Two guards circled around her, not risking losing her. She went compliantly with them, walking with her head held high to the center of the room.

He turned in anger, wanting to rush after her, but he wasn't able to move from the floor. "Kahlan, don't!" he shouted at her.

Sam slapped her face, making her bring he eyes to his. "What is it you are planning?"

"I am going to give you what you want," she said simply.

His laughter filled the room, making her question her decision. "You will die when I wish you to and I assure you, I will disfigure your body so badly that man will not recognize you and then, I will allow you to die." He lifted a knife from his belt and stepped closer. "You cannot beat me."

Her eyes squeezed shut as the cold metal of the blade traced across her stomach. "No..." she begged quietly. "Not there..."

He stepped back with a smile and shook his head. "You are making this easier that I could have imagined!" Sam turned around to Richard and motioned to Kahlan with his head. "She carries a child."

He looked at her and finally understood why she had wanted to give in quickly. She didn't want the child to suffer. "Kahlan?"

"Do not worry, the child will move to the next life shortly." With a soft laugh, he turned and plunged the blade into her stomach. She had moved at the last moment, the knife pushing almost into the side. "If you move again, I will cut it from you and make you stare at what comes out!"

His words were drowned out by her cry and suddenly, Richard was sitting up and pushing frantically against the invisible force keeping him in place. The rage that filled him was more than he had ever felt and it gave him more strength. She was fighting him now, not willing to remain still while he murdered her child. The fear of losing the child overwhelmed the pain she received from attacking the other man. Using her legs, she kicked and flailed herself at him, trying to cause as much pain as possible.

Each moment she hurt him, Richard was able to move closer as Sam lost all control of the magic holding him back. He was bent down in front of her when she brought up her knees and slammed them into his chin. He flew black beside the Seeker, landing upon his own knife. Richard didn't waste a second. Pulling the knife from his arm, he began stabbing the man repeatedly across the chest until his body stopped jerking.

When he looked up, the guards had them surrounded, swords drawn. He tightened his hold on the small knife and waited, looking from one man to the other. They paid no attention to the bloody, lifeless looking body that dangled in the center of the room. He knew they were making a mistake.

"Let us go!" he growled loudly. It was the second time he had murdered their captor and he was more than willing to kill every man in the room if it made Kahlan and their unborn child safe. It would kill him, he had no doubt, but he didn't care. "Let us go and I won't kill you."

"You won't make it out of this room."

"If not, I will kill as many of you as I can."

There was a loud cry of battle as he charged the men, killing one quickly before taking his sword. He swung in circles, trying to hit them as they closed in on him. They fell as he cried out in pain, their blades slicing his skin as he took another down. There were so many of them, he didn't think he would survive much longer. He saw her move out of the corner of his eye and rushed toward her.

She fell to the ground as he unhooked the chains that bound her. The men stopped at the sight. Her face was stained with tears as she clutched her stomach in sobs, trying to stop the bleeding and save their child. Richard pulled her close and pointed a sword at the men who stared.

"The Mother Confessor carries my child, if you come near her, I will remove you heads."

The men continued to stare in disbelief, none of them told who the prisoners were. Stepping closer, the last couple of men looked to each other in question before returning their gaze to the bleeding couple. His words didn't stop them, if they allowed them to live; she would have them punished for what they had done to her. She would not tolerate their treason and the harm against her child. They attacked at once.

It was over the moment it had begun. Being so close to her, made him faster, stronger and everything he needed to be in order to protect her. They didn't stand a chance. None were a match for Richard when she was involved. Their dead bodies joined the others that covered the floor.

Kahlan had been focusing her attention on the still bleeding wound, almost missing the fight completely. "It won't stop bleeding," she whispered through tears. From the way she clutched the wound, he saw her desperation.

Running from the room, he searched for something that would help her. There were six other rooms like the one they had been held in and they were all empty. He and Kahlan had had all of Sam's attention. The room their captor had for himself was unlike everything Richard had ever seen before.

It was three times the size of their holding cell and the part that made him sick, the bed held the white dress of the Mother Confessor. Her pictures hung from the walls, visible from all angles of the room. He had been right, Sam did have some kind of feelings and desire for her, even if it mixed with his anger. The healing elixir that he had used on her hands were resting upon the top of his wardrobe, sharing the display with more detailed drawings of Kahlan. Forgetting everything, he pulled the vials into his hands, ignoring his own pain from the fresh wounds that covered his own body.

Running back to her, he carefully poured the liquid onto the wound, trying to keep his eyes open against her cry of pain. "Kahlan?" She nodded her head slowly. "Are you sure?"

A small smile pulled at her lips as she sighed in relief. "I can still feel her." She moved her hands over the scared skin for a moment and then looked up at him. "You're bleeding."

"It's just a scratch," he reassured her while he ran his eyes over her to make sure she was all right.

"All of them?" His nod did nothing to reassure her. Reaching out, she pushed him away from her and traced the thumb of her right hand around one of the cuts across his chest. She stared at her hand against his skin, the missing fingers blending into his blood. It made her sick.

She attempted to pick up one of the vials and help close his wounds, but she couldn't hold it in her hand. Her sigh of frustration was cut short as he wrapped his hand around hers, helping her to hold it. He knew that she needed to help him, needing to feel like she could still be useful. He held her hand gently, making it appear that she was doing most of the work. He winced at the sudden burning sensation that made each muscle in his body constrict.

The elixir ran out before she had attended to every wound. She pressed the palms of her hands against the others, trying to determine how deep they were.

"I'm going to find some cloth."

Grabbing her arm, he held her still for a moment. "I'll go with you."

She frowned, "I think I can handle carrying some cloth, Richard."

He nodded, understanding her hurt tone. "I know, but I don't want to be a part from you."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Here, help me up?" She took note of his small smile and the way he never looked at her hands as they fidgeted. "I won't slow you down, I promise."

"Why don't you want to go alone?"

She always knew when he was hiding something and he hated that he hadn't told her the truth. "You shouldn't see it alone."

"What?" She was staring into his eyes, trying to find the truth as she waited for him to reply. "Richard?"

"He was sleeping with your dress."

She studied his face for a moment, hoping he was lying. "He- Why would he-? No, he wouldn't."

"That's not all, Kahlan. He uh- He has pictures- drawings of you in there too."

"I don't understand."

"I don't think he ever intended to kill you. He wanted you for himself."

Shaking her head, she lifted her hands before their faces. "No, he-"

Taking her hands quickly into his, he held them in his lap. "He wanted to break you first."

Blinking free a set of tears, she blew out a breath of air slowly. "He succeeded."

"No," Richard told her, pulling on her hands closer to him. "No, he didn't. He didn't break you."

"I wanted him to kill me."

"You wanted a quick death for our child. Kahlan, he didn't break you. You were doing what you thought was the best for our child. If you had been broken, you wouldn't have cared."

Closing her eyes, she gathered the courage to tell him the truth. "I wanted to die, Richard."

"I know." Leaning forward, he abandoned her hands and cupped her face. "But I don't know how I could live without you."

She gave him a small smile, relieving the tension that had built up around them. "He would have killed you after me."

He couldn't help the soft laugh that escaped him. "Yes, but I wouldn't care." Wincing in pain, he leaned back and grabbed his side.

"I'll get the cloth. If we tend to it, the pain may decrease."

"Kahlan-"

"I won't linger," she said as she stood up and walked quickly from the room.

The moment she was out of sight, he sighed. "It's impossible not to." 


	5. Chapter 5

Richard had struggled after her in an attempt to keep her safe from the thoughts he knew were reeling in her mind. Leaning against the door opening, he looked in at her as she tried her best to keep her eyes from the portraits on the walls. His eyes moved over her naked form, his body showing his arousal as she looked over at him. She was so close to the bed and he wanted so badly to give her a few moments of pleasure to take away her pain. From the look in her eyes, he knew she knew what was in his mind.

He couldn't touch her, not here in their captor's bedroom. Walking toward her, he kept his eyes on her for any sign of distress. Her gaze was filled with pain, hiding the ocean of love he was used to seeing. The sight made him weak. After what she had gone through, he didn't know if he would ever see her again.

She melted in his arms, relaxing almost completely as he held her. They were both naked, holding each other so close that their breathing synced together as though they were one. He always imagined their life like this. Coming home to her and holding her until his final breath. It was exotic; the feel of her against him, a drug he had become addicted to the moment it begun. She carried his child and he knew what would happen next, they would find a way to remove the Rada'Han and she wouldn't risk his life again. They would have a child together, but that was all their relationship could be with her.

It was more than enough for him. This moment, with her head against his chest and arms wrapped around his waist, was all he ever needed. As though hearing his thoughts, she pulled back and sighed.

"We should stop your bleeding." Her arms were stained with his blood, making him remember why he had followed her. She eased him to the floor, beside the bed. "Here, stay still."

Something was wrong, he could see it in her eyes, but she rushed away before he could ask. He closed his eyes for a moment to think. When he opened them again, she was finishing tending to his wounds. She sighed in frustration as she tried to tie the cloth in place, the last of her fingers finding it difficult. Richard took her hands in his with a small smile.

"Thank you."

Motioning to his lift side, she pulled back her hands and crossed her arms across her chest to hide them. "I couldn't get it stop bleeding."

He could hear the worry in her voice, the fear. "It's fine, Kahlan." She avoided his eyes and leaned back, trying to keep him from reaching out for her hands again.

She reached onto the bed and pulled back her dress. The softness of the fabric seemed unreal, she clutched it to her to be sure it as real. She struggled with it, trying to put it on with him watching her every move. The frustration welled up within her until she tossed it to the floor and buried her face in her hands to hide the tears.

He wrapped his arms around her in an attempt to comfort her, but it didn't. Her body shook within his hold, her tears falling like the rain. Tucking her hair behind her ear, he lifted her face to look at him.

"It's all right. Here, I'll help you."

"No-"

He pressed his finger against her lips to silence her. "Let me help you."

He helped her into the dress, letting his fingertips linger against her skin. She stared at the floor as he tied the dress, not wanting to look at him and break. Her heart was pounding and her body ached in a way she had never felt before. The room was spinning and only being able to see out of one eye made it worse. She tried to grab his arms, trying to keep from falling over, but she couldn't take hold.

He caught her instantly in concern, whispering her name as he lowered her to the floor. He looked over her, checking for some kind of distress. There was none. Not knowing what to do, he jumped up and found his clothes. He needed to bring her to someone who could help; he needed to be there soon.

******

It took him six days to carry her body to the next town. He kicked open the door to the tavern and cried out for help. Everyone stopped instantly at the sight of him carrying the unconscious Mother Confessor. Richard dropped to his knees exhausted as several of the townspeople rushed to help him. Clutching her to him, he demanded to know who they were, If they we're loyal to them and if they could send word to Zedd.

A short woman ran to his side, resting her hand on Kahlan's forehead as she closed her eyes to focus. "I am Victoria, the healer of this center. What happened?"

The woman was older, her raven hair cut short and framed around her face, showing off her bright green eyes. Richard studied her face, wishing that he was able to tell if the woman meant then any harm. He didn't have a choice. If Kahlan didn't get help soon, he could lose her.

"Carry her into the back; we can talk freely in there while we look over her." Nodding he struggled back to his feet and followed the woman across the room, ignoring the stares. "After I've taken a look at her, I will see to your wounds. From the way you move, you've been infected."

"I'm fine."

Victoria smiled back at him and nodded. "I am sure you told her the same when she dressed the wound. Come, lay her here and help me remove the dress."

"No," he said instantly. She had gone so long without clothes; he didn't want anyone else to see her that way.

"If I am to help her, I must find the source." Staring at her for a moment, he nodded and began unlacing her dress. "Now, what happened?"

"She's carrying my child."

"Is that why she wears the Rada'Han?"

"No." He looked over to the woman and sighed, tears collecting in his eyes. "We were being held captive- S- I think his name was Sam." His mind was reeling, his heart pounding so loud, it echoed the room to his ears. "The things he did to her..."

He kneeled down beside the table, holding her hand as he told Victoria everything that had happened. He spared her no details as he cried. His mind replaying it all vividly. A low moan escaped Kahlan's throat as the older woman ran her long, thin fingers over the cuts that covered her stomach. After a moment, Richard turned his head and vomited onto the floor, the memory of her cries hitting him.

"Were you separated before some of the damage was done to her?"

"Yes, why?"

The woman looked up with sorrow. "She has been raped."

"No, that's impossible. Kahlan said that-"

"The body does not lie. You have said it has been eleven days since you have had her. These wounds are no more than seven days old. She has been raped."

Looking at her, Richard leaned closer to her. "Why would you keep that from me?"

"It is possible she did not know," Victoria whispered as she continued her work. "You lost a day without knowledge, who is to say you both did not lose more? These wounds here," she motioned between Kahlan's legs. "they are more than rape. The pain that was caused from these would have rendered her unconscious almost instantly. He did not want her to struggle the whole time."

Her words made him cry all the more. His hand on hers tightening until his knuckles turned white. "I'm so sorry, Kahlan."

"She has lost a lot of blood, the child within her is strong and if the child is yours, you must give me instruction."

"Instruction?"

"Certain methods may cause damage to the child, she could be lost if the Mother Confessor lives. The child is young and with the blood loss, she is already in danger. From the looks, the Mother Confessor knew the child was in danger, this is by her doing."

Confused, he shifted his body to better look at the woman. "I don't understand."

"She is resting to give her strength to the child. She did not wish the child to die." She sighed and walked around to Kahlan's side. "These wounds were burned by elixir?" He could only nod as he watched her touch them once again. "These will take weeks to heal properly. I cannot say for sure when she will awaken."

"Do whatever it takes."

******

He never left her side. Hours past as Victoria moved around him. She had reopened most of the wounds and packed them with some kind of herbs that would help force out the infection as well as help her body grow stronger. Richard could barely keep his eyes open, but he refused to sleep until he knew for sure that Kahlan would be all right. He was terrified that the moment he closed his eyes, she would be in danger again.

He expected to hear her cry out in pain or moan in anyway, but she remained silent. The quiet scared him all the more. Kissing the back of her hand for the umpteenth time, Richard began talking to her again. He had talked to her from the moment he carried her out of their prison and never ran out of things to tell her. At times, he would pause, imagining her response or the smile she would give him. It was the only thing that brought him comfort.

"You would like it tonight," he whispered as he looked around the room. "the stars are brighter here and you can really see them. They're not as bright as your eyes, Kahlan so I- I need you to wake up and look at me. I need you to wake up and- I need you to open your eyes and just look at me." She didn't move, didn't make a sound and it broke him. "If I had protected you, this never would have happened. But I'm so grateful- Kahlan, we're going to have a child. You and me," he smiled through his words, forgetting the pain and thinking only about the small child that grew within her.

"Our child, Kahlan. She's going to be beautiful. She'll look like you. I'm going to teach her to hunt, she'll probably hate it," he laughed lightly.

"No..." Richard nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of her soft, raspy voice. It was beautiful. Her head turned slightly toward him as she struggled for breath. "Sh... Ve... T..."

Reaching up, he took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead. "Spirits, Kahlan." She opened and closed her eyes for a moment, trying to adjust to the brighter surrounding. "How do you feel?"

"... Hurts..."

"You're going to be all right, I promise." She could only nod, the strength needed to talk proving to be out of reach. "I was so afraid that I would lose you. Both of you."

She wished that she could see his face, but everything was blurry. She still couldn't see out one of her right eye, but it no longer worried her. The sound of his voice filling her constantly melted away all of her fears. "Oo... Nt... Eep."

He laughed and pulled the chair closer so that he could continue touching her face as he sat. "How can I sleep when your life is in danger? Kahlan, I- I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you." He ignored her attempts to stop him; he knew what she would say. She would never blame him for this. "The things he did to you, I should have stopped him. I should have ripped his head off for touching- raping you."

Her face filled with confusion. "W..t?"

"The healer here," he whispered quietly, taking her hand once again. "She says- She says that there is damage that only comes from- She is sure he raped you." She was shaking her head slowly and he knew what was running through her mind. "He-" Tears collected in her eyes and she looked away. "What?"

"No..."

He didn't push for more, understanding how she could not remember. He was still missing time of his own. And there it was, he thought to himself. Maybe she wasn't missing any time at all, he was missing more. It would explain the tears that fell from her eyes. His silence brought her face back toward him.

Taking in a ragged breath, she tried to make her eye focus on his face. The blurriness slowly began to fade and for the first time in days, she saw his face. "Not... You..." she said breathlessly.

He stated at her, wishing he knew the truth. "I-"

"No..." she interrupted before he could think.

It was the last word she spoke before her eyes fell closed and her body went limp on the table again. He was alone with his thoughts and they were no good. Victoria was back in the small room, this time she brought a large tray of food with her. Setting it down beside him, she walked to Kahlan's head and lowered her ear to her mouth to hear if she was breathing. With a nod of approval, she pulled a blanket over the Confessor and looked to Richard.

"Eat and when she awakes again, make her eat. It will be difficult, but you must. She will fight you, which is good. It will make her stronger, she will be glad for it." She continued to move around them, tucking the blanket around her to be sure that she would be kept warm. "The bread is hard, but a little soaking in the soup will make it better. Don't be shy, eat!"

He smiled in thanks and looked over to the food, making his stomach growl. It had been days since he had eaten and the smell was more than tempting. Keeping his left hand on her hand, he pulled a piece of turkey toward him and then pushed it into his mouth. He chewed slowly, savoring the taste of the warm, juicy meat. Leaning back in the chair, he released a loud sigh of exhaustion as his body throbbed in pain.

"Remove the shirt and I will take a look at you. The wound on your side is bleeding through."

"It's fine."

Victoria shook her head and walked over to him. "What am I to tell the Confessor when she awakes?"

She knew she had him by the sorrow on his face. He wouldn't risk leaving Kahlan alone by dying. Lifting his shirt, he withheld the grunt of pain as he rolled his shoulders. The pain was nothing in comparison to what she had gone through. He closed his eyes as the older woman pushed her fingers against him and began inspecting the wounds.

"Did the Mother Confessor wrap these?"

"Yes."

She smiled and pulled back more of the cloth bandages. "She took great care in wrapping these. You are lucky, they could be much worse." The cloth that covered his right side was covered in blood, proving Kahlan right for worrying. "She packed this one; it was too deep for her to stop it in all. Here, lean back and I will do what I can."

"Kahlan said that it was deeper than the others..."

Victoria looked up and paused her movements. "Kahlan?"

He laughed and motioned his head to the table. "Kahlan."

"You call her by her name?"

"I only know her as Kahlan."

Returning to the wound, her smile faded. "The Mother Confessor is a dangerous creature."

"She's no danger to me," he said quietly. "She's wonderful, you know, but no one bothers to look past their fear of her."

"I do not understand how you can care about a woman who could destroy you."

Looking down at the woman, Richard smiled. "You'll understand once you meet her."

"It would not change anything. The Mother Confessor is dangerous."

"I wish I could help you to understand how wrong you are."

A small smile came to her lips as she began to rewrap his wound. "I look forward to you trying. I have never known someone who cared for a Confessor. And here you are, in love with one. But tell me, if she did not wear the Rada'Han, would you still feel this way?"

"I've felt this way- I've loved her since the moment I met her. I- The Rada'Han doesn't change anything."

"It allows you to be with her."

"Being with Kahlan isn't- If she would let me, I would spend the rest of my life just holding her. I would not want anything more."

Victoria moved away from him with a laugh. "No man would settle for a life of that manner. What would you do when it came time to conceive a child? Would you be able to sit back and watch as she took another man to the bed you would never be able to share?"

"I have never thought about it."

"When you have, things will change."

The smile returned to his face as he looked back to Kahlan, who for the first time seemed to be sleeping peacefully. "If I thought about it for the rest of time, nothing would change. She is the breath of me; I cannot live without her."

"Very well." She returned to the side of the table and pulled back the blanket. Some of her wounds were bleeding once again and it brought a small smile to the older woman's face. "The infections are nearly gone. Within a few days, she will be past the worst of these and we can focus more on the rest and the child within her."

"How is our child now?" he asked softly. He was desperate for any information and it pained him not to be able to get it from the woman he loved.

Shaking her head, she laid her hand on Kahlan's stomach and sighed. "Only the Mother Confessor knows. You must wait for her to awaken."


	6. Chapter 6

She could feel someone beside her, watching her carefully as she slept. There was no need to open her eyes to know who held her hand. It was Richard. He hadn't left her side and his words still rung in her ears. They had been comforting to her and she wished she had been able to reply. Her silence made his voice grow more desperate and his hand tighten its hold on hers as he feared for her life.

"Richard?" It wasn't as soft as she thought it would be, her voice was at last returning to her. She had awaken two times in the past seven days and had yet to make a sound louder than a whisper.

"I'm here," he whispered, leaning closer to her. Abandoning her hands, he took hold of her face and gently pushed his fingers back into her hair. "How do you feel?"

Opening her eyes, she grinned. "I can see you..." It was the first time since she collapsed in his arms that she had seen him and though it was only with her left eye, she didn't care. He was shirtless, drawing her eyes to his chest for a moment before returning to his. He smiled widely in relief. Victoria had told him that her sight may never return and he hated the thought of the alternative. The eye was bloodshot, making him question if it would last, but he said nothing. Her right eye had swollen shut days before, making it impossible to treat it. His thoughts were written on his face for her to read. "You look tired," she teased in an attempt to lighten the tension around them.

His smile widened, his hands slowly coming back to her face as his thumbs gently caressed her lips. "I'm fine."

She smiled. "Liar." Slowly, she tried to sit up, attempting to hide the piercing pain that shot through her until he held her still. He stared at her, his lips parted for breath he feared would cease to exist. "What?"

"I've missed your smile," he whispered honestly. His body shook at the sight, it thrilled him. "I was so afraid that I wasn't going to get to see it again." She reached up and rested her hands against his arms, wishing that she was able to take hold of them. "Cara and Zedd should be here soon. Maybe he can- Maybe then you will be able to-" He paused and leaned back slightly. "Kahlan, I need to know, our daughter-"

"She's still here," she interrupted, knowing what he wanted to ask. It was the first thing she thought about when she woke. "I can feel her. Zedd won't need to- Richard, we can't tell him the child is yours."

Confused, he pulled his hands away from her. "What? Why not?"

Tearing her eyes off of him, she turned her head and closed her eyes. "I- I promised not to- He can't know."

"I don't understand. Kahlan, she's my child..."

"I know," she whispered, bringing her eyes back to him. "But we can't tell them."

He stared at her, trying to find something to say that would change her mind, but he didn't know where to start. "She's my child."

It pained her to have to ask him to keep it a secret, but she knew what Zedd would do if he found out. "Please, Richard?"

"All right." He would always do as she asked and they both knew that. "But I won't keep it a secret forever."

Nodding, she pushed a smile onto her lips. "I know, I don't want you to. I just- I need to find a way to tell him."

"Why is it so terrible that we created a child?"

"It's not terrible, but I promised Zedd that I would not take you."

"You didn't," he reminded her quickly. "You didn't confess me."

"I betrayed my word. I-" She paused with a sigh, not wanting to tell him what his grandfather begged her not to do. "I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you."

He smiled warmly. "And I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you. Kahlan, you've told me, Zedd has told me and it didn't stop me because- When I'm with you, nothing else matters. You are everything to me and no matter how many times you have told me that it could never be and that it was dangerous, I- I can't stop my heart from crying out for yours."

"Richard... We can't let anyone know what we've done."

"We shouldn't have to keep our feelings locked away; it's not fair to either of us. We belong together and I promise you that I will find a way."

Bringing her right hand to his cheek, she sighed. "There is no way. I'm a Confessor- I'm a dangerous creature."

His smile widened and then faltered instantly. "You heard Victoria and I talking the other day; didn't you?"

"She's right, Richard."

Shaking his head, he sat down in the chair and crossed his arms. "You don't believe that." His eyes moved over her form hidden by the clean clothes and blanket, but visible in his mind. It made his heart pound.

"I've always believed it."

Their attention jumped to the door as it pushed open and Victoria entered. "I am sorry to interrupt, Mother Confessor, but I've warmed the water for you bath." Looking to Richard, the woman motioned for him to stand as she walked toward him with a small stack of towels. "If you give us a short while alone, we can-"

"No," Kahlan said quietly, reaching out for him. "Don't leave me... Please." He could hear the fear in her voice, the terror of being left alone.

"I'll wait behind the door. I won't go far."

She grabbed his arm in both of her hands, fighting the pain of sitting up as she attempted to pull him back to her. "No, please."

The older woman frowned and sat the towels on the chair he had been sitting in. "The Mother Confessor should not remove her clothes before a man."

She coughed through a laugh at the woman's words. "We were naked for..." Her words trailed off as she lowered her head in thought. "I- I don't remember how long we were there," she whispered quietly, moving her arms to cover the now bleeding wounds.

"That is expected," Victoria replied as she walked back to the door. "You had taken a great beating; memory loss is the most now that we have treated most of your wounds." She disappeared through the door for only a moment when she returned with three men and a large bathtub. The Mother Confessor was given every courtesy. "Bring it to the side of the table, she can't move far." The men followed her direction and left without a word, leaving the tree of them alone again.

At last looking up to Richard's confused face, Kahlan pleaded with him. "Stay, please."

He grabbed her hands and leaned in close to her. "I'm not going to leave you."

"Mother Confessor, I must protest-"

She looked at the other woman. "He's already seen me. There is nothing to hide from him."

"He is not your mate."

"No, he's not, but he is the father of my unborn child." It felt erotic to say the words aloud, but she wanted to speak them before she was forced to keep it a secret.

Victoria sighed in defeat and stepped away from the couple. "As you wish."

The moment she left the room, Kahlan pulled her hands away from his and forced her body to turn away and face toward the tub. It was the first time she realized what she was wearing. The shirt was Richard's making a small smile come to her lips as she took a moment to feel the fabric that covered her nicely before she attempted to pull her arms from the sleeves. Her body throbbed in a pain she wished she couldn't feel, but knew she couldn't let him see. He was in front of her within moments, gently lifting the shirt over her head to help her. His eyes fell to her breasts instantly, forgetting all thoughts. She remained still, watching him carefully in an attempt to understand what was in his mind.

He stared at her in hunger and she couldn't understand why. She was covered in scars, dried and fresh blood and small patches of cloth to keep a few wounds closed. She had never felt more unattractive. Whispering his name, she looked away to avoid locking eyes with him. Laying his hand against her cheek, he turned her head toward him and smiled.

"I'm sorry, I know that you don't want me to-"

"It's not that I don't want you to," she told him softly.

Without thought and hesitation, he leaned forward and kissed her. It was soft, slow and filled with passion. She pushed forward, into his arms as he encircled them around her. Her hands dangled at her sides, not wanting to touch him with what was left of her hands. She didn't want to make him pull away. Breaking their kiss, he gasped for air and quickly connected their lips again.

He felt her struggle to keep her hands away from him and reached for them. Keeping their lips together, he brought her hands to his chest and held them against him. He pushed into them with a moan, hoping to show her that they didn't bother him, but it didn't seem to work. Pushing him away from her, she crossed her arms, hiding her hands beneath them. She panted for a moment, trying to find her breath as she fought to keep from looking at him. One look into his forest eyes and she would melt into him again.

His fingers lightly grazed her arms, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and her body shivers before him. "You're beautiful, Kahlan." She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to keep from crying. Pulling her closer to the edge of the table he rested his hands on her hips. "Let me show you how beautiful you are." Her eyes remained closed as he gently began running his hands over her. "You're beautiful."

The dam broke and tears began to fall down her cheeks. She was in his arms once again; his lips beside her ear, whispering to her as he rocked her. After a moment, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed into him. Lifting her into his arms, he turned and gently lowered her into the tub of warm water. It wasn't what she expected, but she didn't stop him. The water was soothing against her skin, making all of her physical pain vanish into its warmth, at least for a moment.

Richard moved slowly, running the tips of his fingers over her stomach and between her breasts. She parted her lips for breath, squeezing her eyes shut. "No, Kahlan, look at me." She shook her head quickly. "Look at me." She opened her eyes and slowly moved them toward him. He smiled warmly, the smile he gave her when she caught him staring at her when they were with Cara and Zedd. The one he used when he was trying to hide what he was thinking about.

"Richard," she panted, trying to shift her body to get his hand where she wanted it. She wanted to forget everything and focus on the feel of his touch. The gentleness of his grasp as he held her to him and connected their lips.

He messaged his fingers into her skin, ignoring her pleas for something more. Her body relaxed in his touch and her eyes drifted closed as he brushed his hands over her breasts. His hands disappeared for a moment and returned before she had a chance to open her eyes. He worked slowly, running the soap and wash cloth over her skin, being sure to be gentle around her wounds. There seemed to be more now than there had been before. Scars covered her and the rest have yet to heal, the fresh blood stained the water, disappearing into its vast amount of warmth.

After a few minutes of silence, Richard began to whisper to her again. He told her that since he learned she carried his child, he had been thinking of names. It brought a small smile to her lips as he spoke; his soft voice was comforting as he continued to work the soap into lathers. She could feel his eyes returning to her face, watching her carefully to make sure she was still all right. Bringing her hand to his lips, he kissed it and brought her eyes to his. He knew what she was thinking.

"You're beautiful." He saw the doubt in her eyes, understood it and then he realized she wouldn't believe him. Dropping her hand, he grabbed her face, nearly pulling her out of the tub as he pulled her against him. She didn't hesitate to return his kiss and pull him closer, needing him.

Pulling him closer, she pawed at the shirt he was wearing, trying to rid his body of it. He broke their kiss as she reached for the strings as his pants, moving to help her remove them quicker. She didn't want to waste another moment apart from him. With a hard tug, she brought him into the tub, instantly moving to allow him to lie beneath her. His pants were around his ankles as she crawled over him, crashing their lips together in a hungry frenzy. The water splashed out and onto the floor as she rocked against him, her head falling backward with a loud moan as his hands roamed her chest.

Everything slowed as she held his face to hers, trying to keep their lips together until she needed air. The moment she parted for a breath, he leaned forward and began kissing, licking and sucking the soft skin of her neck above and below the Rada'Han. He pushed his tongue beneath the metal, trying to leave no skin untouched. Her speed began to quicken and her hold on him slipped constantly, making her work harder to keep moving without falling over. Richard grabbed her waist, thrusting upward to meet her in an attempt to make it easier on her.

His breaths came in pants and grunts, his fingers digging into her skin as his head leaned back against the rim of the tub and his eyes fell closed in passion. Kahlan cried out his name in release, but she didn't stop moving, she couldn't. She never wanted to stop. He held her still as he began to empty himself within her, not wanting any to fall from her. She froze above him, mesmerized by the sight. He looked peaceful, happy and for the first time since she could remember, he didn't look worried.

Lifting herself off of him, she curled up her knees and rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. His arms wrapped around her with a light laugh. "Now we both need a bath." She didn't reply and he grew concerned. Turning her head so that he could see her face, he sighed. She had fallen asleep. It must have taken all of her energy to remain above him and she didn't have enough for what was required. She would be in pain when she awoke the next time.

Still, he thought to himself, he was glad for their time together. Glad for the opportunity to make her forget about being injured and everything that had happened to her. He wanted to tell the world that they had made love and that she carried his child, but he couldn't. He wanted everyone to know that he loved her, she loved him, but she didn't want anyone to know. In a moment like this, her lying in his arms, naked, made him realize how much he wanted to be this way for the rest of his life. He never wanted to let her go.

If he was able to hold her in his arms every night for the rest of his life, it wouldn't be enough. Kissing her every second for eternity would not satisfy his desire and here she was, asking him to keep their love a secret. Keeping this secret would destroy him. Shifting his body beneath her, he brought her into his arms and lifted her out of the water. He watched as the water slowly dripped from her perfect form, making his body crave hers once again until the blood began to pool around the wounds. His body was always trying to find its way to hers, now there would be no stopping it.

Laying her down on the table, he stepped out of the bath tub and covered her with a towel while he pulled on a clean pair of pants. He didn't want to be naked if anyone entered the room. He took his time drying her body, making sure to be gentle and ease around the tender wounds, soaking up the blood before laying a fresh piece of cloth over it. They were red and swollen from their activities, making him question if he had gone too far. The small smile on her lips told him otherwise. He thought she would wake up as he began to dress her, but she showed no sign of knowing that she was being moved. He loved the way she looked in his shirt, the color making her eyes stand out even more than usual. Everything about her made something stand out and scream to the world that she was someone special.

A smile crossed his features as he remembered the first time he saw her. The way her dress hugged her form as she ran through the woods and her hair flowing back in the wind. He knew in that moment that there was something more to her, something that would change everything that mattered to him. The moment was burned within his mind, replaying constantly with each breath and now that they had made love, he couldn't ask for anything more.

"The wizard and your Mord'Sith have entered the town." Richard turned around at Victoria's soft voice. "You will need to hurry and finish dressing the Mother Confessor, it's not right to leave her exposed to others."

She left before he could reply; the frown of disappointment on her face told him that she knew what they had done. Moving quickly, he grabbed a pair of pants and finished dressing the woman before him, hoping to forget the look on the woman's face.


	7. Chapter 7

"Spirits, what happened?" Zedd nearly shouted in concern as he and Cara rushed through the door.

Richard was sitting in the chair on the right side of the table Kahlan laid on. He clutched her hand as their friends came closer, part of him wanting to protect her. He stared at them in disbelief, unsure that they were truly there. They had escaped their prison nine days before and he had grown accustomed to it being just he and Kahlan, finding her to be the only person he could trust. One look at the couple and the wizard knew his magic was needed. The way his grandson stared at them, holding onto the unconscious woman between them told him that something terrible had happened.

"She- Can you heal her?" the Seeker asked quietly.

"What happened?" She asked casually, as though it was as she expected the Mother Confessor to look. It was Cara's way.

Tears filled Richard's eyes as he looked down to the hand he held in his, her cry of pain as her fingers were removed echoing in his ears once again. "She- He nearly killed her."

Holding his hands out above her, Zedd closed his eyes to inspect the damage. Instantly, he pulled them back with a slight gasp. "She carries a child?" Richard could only nod, not wanting to speak and risk telling him that the child was his. The wizard didn't ask who the father was, making him relax a little as he watched.

Cara stared at the other woman, a frown on her face as she took in the sight of her beaten and swollen face. Her eyes fell to her hands as the older man picked up the right one into his. For a moment, Richard was sure he saw her get upset by the sight, but he remained quiet. The solemn look on the wizard's face made his heart pound in fear of what he knew. He knew Kahlan wasn't in perfect condition, but he refused to believe that she was as bad as it appeared. It would have broken him.

There were more warning signs that he ignored the soft moans of pain at every move she made and the way she had held him as they made love had made him think that she never believed she would have the chance again. At first, he had assumed that it was because she knew Zedd was coming and would have a way to remove the Rada'Han, but after dressing her, he began to wonder. Her index finger began to re-grow slowly and suddenly her body started to jerk as she cried out in pain. Her eyes never opened, even as Richard pushed his nose into her hair and whispered into her ear. It was the only way he could think to comfort her. He hated feeling useless when she needed him.

"I am not sure I can give them all back to her," he said sadly. Looking to his grandson, his frown deepened. "The elixir they used to close the wounds is affecting the re-growth. They would have known it wouldn't be possible to heal her."

"I don't think healing her was in his mind."

"What happened?"

With a heavy sigh, Richard looked back to her face and sat back in the chair. He spoke softly at first as though his words would wake Kahlan and bring back the painful memories. Cara's face changed from boredom to interest as he continued the story. He skipped most of the first failed escape, making sure they didn't get a chance to suspect that he was the father of her child. He went on quickly, wanting to get the rest of it out before he became sick.

After two, long, hours, he sighed. "And then I carried her here."

"Has she woken?"

"A few times, never longer than an hour."

"When was the last time?"

"A little while before you arrived. Zedd, you have to heal her."

Bringing his long, slender fingers to her head, the older man closed his eyes. "She's been bleeding on the inside. It's slow, but the damage may have already been done." Whispering something quietly, he ran his hands over her swollen eye and waited. "I'm sorry Richard, there may not-"

"No!" he shouted. Coming to his feet, he leaned over and grabbed his grandfather's hands and laid them back on the woman lying between them. "You can heal her! You can save her!" He sighed through tears. "Please, just keep trying."

"She doesn't have the strength."

Locking eyes with him, Richard grabbed Kahlan's hand and took in a deep breath. "Then take mine."

"Richard-"

"She's pregnant, Zedd. If she dies, they're gone. If she dies, I've lost her."

With a sigh, the wizard nodded. "I will do what I can."

"What you can, is not good enough unless you heal her. I can't lose her."

"Go with Cara, eat, sleep and-"

"No," he replied quickly. "I'm not leaving her- I'm not going to leave them."

*****

Four days passed and he had told the story so many times, he had, many times, believed they were back in their prison cell. He would wake up and jump from the chair, his eyes in search of the only thing he cared about. Kahlan. She hadn't awoken, but he still refused to leave her side. Every moment was an opportunity to him, she could open her eyes at any moment and he didn't want to miss it. Cara had grown agitated and began informing them every few moments that the Keeper was growing stronger and that they were losing time.

At first he had grown angry, shouting at her for not caring about Kahlan and then Zedd told him that she was right. The Keeper was growing stronger and his followers were taking over more towns and cities, destroying everything that they had all worked for. Neither would let a moment go by without reminding him of what was at stake.

"If she wakes up, what world will she see? We don't have the time to wait for her to wake up."

Looking up from her hand, Richard frowned. "I can't leave her, Zedd."

"You can come back."

"What if I can't? What if I don't survive this? I don't want her to wake up and learn that not only did I abandon her, but I died as well. I don't want to hurt her any more than I already have."

Shaking his head, the wizard sat down beside him. "What are you talking about? You haven't hurt her."

"If I had protected her, this never would have happened. Zedd, they attacked us on my watch and the things they- The things they did to her were... I can't let anything happen to her."

"You can't watch her for the rest of your life. She's going to have a child, she will be returned to Aydindril and have the best care."

"It's not enough," he whispered. "You didn't see what they did to her. You didn't have to sit across from her and watch as he did those things to her. I can still hear her crying out in pain, praying to the spirits to make it stop. I can't abandon her."

"You're not abandoning her," he told him. "You're doing what you have to keep her alive."

Thinking for a moment in silence, he leaned forward and laid his forehead against her arm. Zedd waited a minute for a reply, but nothing came. Standing, he squeezed his grandson's shoulder and sighed. There was nothing more he could say. Everything was up to him now and he wasn't sure that he would be able to do what was needed.

"I wish you would wake up, Kahlan. I need you." He was sitting on the edge of the chair now, staring at her in the hopes that she would just open her eyes. "I don't know what to do. If I leave you and you- And you don't survive, I won't survive. If I lose you, our child... It will be the end of me, but I know you. You wouldn't want me to stay, risk the lives of everyone else, but Kahlan, you are more important to me. You always have been." He sighed and tightened his hold on her hand. "If I go and you wake up, I don't want you to wake up without me."

Richard waited, heart pounding in anticipation with each passing moment. He needed her to open her eyes and look at him. One look and he would know what he had to do, what she wanted him to do and without a doubt. "I will never leave you, Kahlan. I won't allow you to be hurt ever again and if I leave, I can't protect you." Her voice played in his mind, sounding as though she was speaking before him.

If you don't go, people will die.

"I can't leave you."

You're not leaving me, you're protecting me.

Shaking his head, he pushed his fingers back through his hair. "How can I protect you if I am not here?"

You already know the answer, Richard.

The sound of his name in her voice, made his breath catch in his throat for a moment. He wanted to hear her voice again, needing it to remain sane. "I don't want you to wake up alone."

I'm won't be alone. Our daughter is here.

He wanted to cry at the imaginary response he heard in his mind, but he couldn't. Standing, he grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her. He took his time with it, wanting to be sure that she felt it. Everything he felt was pushed into his kiss, desperately needing her to know that he would return to her. Once the Keeper was defeated, he would return to her and their child and they would be together forever. It was decided.

******

It felt good to have his sword at his side again, though it didn't replace the only thing he trusted. He told Zedd to stay by with Kahlan as he and Cara went to find the Stone of Tears. His grandfather was the only one he could trust to watch over her. They had been gone eight days, following the compass south east in an attempt to find the stone and seal the rift to the Underworld. The forest began to look familiar and he started to become uneasy at the sights.

"I've been here before. We're close to where they were holding us." Before Cara could reply, he took off in a run.

He didn't know why he ran toward the building, but he couldn't stop himself. The compass was spinning in his hand as though it was where he was supposed to be and who was he to question it? Coming to a complete stop, Richard looked around at the dead bodies that covered the floor of their holding cell. They hadn't been moved, still circled around the dried blood that belonged to Kahlan. The chains that had held her in the center of the room were now on the ground, making him believe they were not alone. The moment she stepped beside him, he jumped and slammed her against the wall in defense.

"I'm sorry, Cara." She remained calm, no hint of surprise at his reaction. "Someone is here."

"Not anymore. There are fresh tracks leading back into the trees."

"Toward the town?"

Shaking her head, she looked into the room he had been staring into. "No. Is this the room?"

"Yes. She was hanging right there, Cara. She was so close, but I- I couldn't save her."

She ignored his words and stepped back, finding the dead bodies uninteresting. She didn't like that he wanted to go inside, they needed to keep moving and find the Stone of Tears. Exploring the rest of the building, she came to a stop at Sam's room. It was more unearthing than the Seeker had described it. Picking one of the drawings of Kahlan off of the wall, she inspected it carefully.

"These were drawn recently."

"How do you know?" he asked as he came up beside her.

Pointing at the picture, she turned it toward him. "There, the scars... She didn't have them before. He drew these while she was here and unconscious. See?"

"No, he couldn't have- I would have seen him."

She raised her eyebrows, "How can you be sure? You said that you lost days." Grabbing another piece of paper off of the wall, Cara handed it to Richard. "You're in this one."

Bringing the paper closer, he studied the image. It was Kahlan, lying in his arms but his face had been scratched out and darkened completely. If it wasn't for the mark of the Keeper on his chest, he wouldn't be sure it was him. Folding the paper, he tucked it into his the waistband of his pants and sighed. "Let's get out of here." Cara didn't turn around as he expected, instead, she walked forward and pulled another few photos off of the wall. "What?"

"He must be the father."

Rushing to her, he grabbed the papers out of her hands. "What?"

"This man here with her."

The drawings were sickening, but the man was not Sam. Kahlan, lying on the man's bed, naked. The details of the moment were captured completely on the paper and as he looked over his shoulder to the bed, he could see it. From the drawing, it had been before he had awoken the first time. She had been tied to his bed; the rope was still tied to the headboard, lying against the pillow. He knew how she hated to have her hands bound together, but the rope showed no signs of her having struggled against it. She never woke up in this room and that brought him a moment of relief.

Looking back to the papers in his hands, he walked over to the bed for another, closer look. The Rada'Han had just been place around her neck; there were no red ligaments on her skin yet. The blood drops on the pillow had gone unnoticed before, but now with the new vision of the room, it screamed out to him. It was hers, he had no doubt on the matter and he vowed to find the man in the photos. It began to make sense as he thought about it all, the way the young man had reacted when he walked into their cell and saw all of her blood covering the floor.

He was the one in the photos and Richard had no idea who he was, but his face was burned into his memory. He had thought that maybe he wasn't as bad as the others, but now he knew better and wished that he hadn't allowed him to live when he saw him the first time. Looking through the other photos, he began to feel sick again at the visual of his hands and lips on her, he must have been the man who raped her. He could never let Kahlan see these drawings and know what he had done to her. The man would have had to stay in each position long enough for someone to draw it in such detail. The thought of it would in all likelihood, destroy her.

With a sudden burst of movement, he began pulling all of the drawings off of the walls, crushing each one in his fists before letting them fall to the ground. Turning around, he froze in thought.

"He was the one who came back."

"How do you know?"

"He came for one of his pictures."

Following his gaze, she saw the vacant space on the wall across from them, on the left side of the door. The entire wall was covered except for one single square of stone. Richard remembered the one that had been there. It was of her face, her eyes wide open in fear as she stared straight ahead. She never mentioned it and when he found her in the room, there was no realization on her face, no hint that she knew they were being drawn. It made him wonder how he had been drawing her without her knowledge. He must have used the same magic Sam used on Kahlan when she was forced to watch him with another woman.

Turning around, he walked the four steps toward Cara with a frown. "How many sets of tracks?"

"One."

"She's still here," he whispered, soft enough to be sure she didn't hear him. Grabbing his sword, he stared Cara in the eyes for a moment, making sure it was her. "Cara?"

Rolling her eyes, the blonde shook her head and pushed past him. "We don't have time for this. We're losing time here."

A small smile came to his lips at his friend's reaction. It was her. "There was a woman here with us; she- I don't know how, but she changed her appearance right in front of me. I didn't kill her and there's no tracks saying that she left. She's still here."

"Maybe these are pictures of her and not-"

"No, these are Kahlan," Richard said quickly. "Look at the eyes." He was walking around the room, moving slowly to be sure he didn't miss anything. Pulling his sword, he pointed it at the corner. "Show yourself!"

A woman suddenly appeared in the corner, bringing Cara to Richard's side, agiels in hand. He stretched out his arm and stopped her from getting closer to the woman.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Sarah and you won't hurt me," she grinned, shifting into the shape of the only person she knew would keep her safe. "Not as long as I look like this."

"Change back."

She smiled widely and shook her head. "Why would I do that? This is what you like and if you want, I can make you very happy." She opened the robe she was wearing and stepped forward, relieving Kahlan's naked body. "I made you feel better before, remember?"

Cara glanced over to him for a moment, waiting for his orders, but he ignored her. "Cover yourself and change back."

"Why? This is what you like," she repeated.

Growing frustrated, he tightened his hold on the sword, his rage growing. "It's not your body! Change back!"

The woman jumped in fear, stumbling backward until her back hit the wall. "You wouldn't hurt an innocent woman."

"You're not innocent," he growled. "You sat by and let your master hurt the Mother Confessor. You let her watch as we... You are not innocent."

She returned to herself and pulled the robe closed. "I never touched her."

"You didn't try to help her that makes you as guilty as the men who raped and beat her." Sarah looked terrified as she looked to Cara for help. The anger in his eyes was undeniable. "The man, the one in these pictures, who is he?"

She answered quickly; not wanting to make him more upset and further endanger her life. "Timothy. He is Sam's son."

"Where is he?"

"I don't know. He told me to wait here."

Stepping closer to the woman, Richard gave a low growl. "Who were you supposed to look like?"

"Your Confessor. He's rather fond of her, as you are."

"He raped her!"

Shaking her head, the woman looked over their shoulder. "No, not him. Sam wouldn't allow him to play with his-"

"She was not his!"

"She was, many times." Richard and Cara turned around to the young man's voice. Timothy was standing behind them, a long sword in one hand and a short knife in the other. "He lay above her while she was beside you. She would cry, scream for you to wake up and save her, but you didn't."

The sword glowed red with rage, seeming to be burning the air around it as the Seeker gritted his teeth. "You're lying."

"I think a man as smart as you knows otherwise. You remember the way you found her when you awoke." He grinned widely, showing all of his teeth as he motioned for the other woman to come to him. "The things my father did broke her, you saw it for yourself under the waterfall. She had gotten a taste of man and she wanted more. She wanted you to make her feel better and you had no objections."

"She's not broken."

Laughing Timothy pushed Sarah through the door. "The damage has been done. The body you carried out of here will not live long enough to give birth to your child."

Without warning or hesitation, Richard leapt forward in a hot rage. Timothy stumbled back a few steps as he raised his sword in defense. The clash of steel echoed around them, mixing with the battle cry of the Seeker in rage. The other man stood no chance. Within minutes, he was lying on the floor and covered in his own blood. Staring up, he stretched out his arm for mercy, but it was too late.

Timothy's body gave a quick jerk and a whimper and then nothing. Sarah dropped to her knees in tears, appearing to have truly cared for the lifeless man she was pulling into her arms. Looking up to Richard, she cried harder.

"Please, kill me," she sobbed.

Shaking his head, he took a step toward her, his sword inches from her face. "You're going to live with this in your mind forever."

Cara rushed after him, finding a smile coming to her lips. She was proud of him. "The child is yours?" He remained quiet, pushing through the trees as he pulled the compass out for a guide. "He said-"

"It doesn't matter what he said."

"What happened under the waterfall?"

Turning around, he sheathed his sword and sighed. "It doesn't matter what happened. We have to keep moving before it's too late."

"He wasn't lying, was he?"

"Not about everything," Richard said quickly and sighed. "Kahlan doesn't want anyone to know." Nodding, the blonde began walking beside him, knowing he wouldn't be able to keep it to himself any longer. "She asked me not to tell anyone. It's my child and she doesn't want anyone to know." He looked over at her as though he expected her to agree with him.

He stopped and turned to face his friend. "When I found her behind the waterfall, I- I'd never seen her that way before. She needed me and I- Cara, I love her." Turning back to the trail, he sighed. "I thought we had escaped and I would finally be able to- We should keep moving."


	8. Chapter 8

Kahlan rolled restlessly in her bed, sighing in discomfort at every failed position. Her mind refused to quiet, thinking back to the moment she awoken to Zedd's voice. She had looked around for him, hoping that he was somewhere beside her, but he wasn't. She never believed that he wouldn't be there when she opened her eyes. Her body throbbed in pain as the wizard informed her that she had been unconscious for two weeks and that the child was days from death.

As he promised Richard, he never stopped trying to heal her every wound. Four days after she woke, she was able to sit up and see partly out of her right eye, the swelling down to nearly nothing at all. Her fingers took longer than they liked and she still didn't have them all back. She was so grateful for the few he returned to her, she didn't care about to others. Now, if he allowed her to, she would be able to hold onto Richard and never let go.

It had been five months ago since that day and two weeks from this night; she watched the rifts around the Confessor's Palace seal closed. She couldn't hide the smile on her face as the people rushed out in joy, celebrating the Seeker and his triumph. She felt a great since of pride for him, wishing that he was there to see the towns celebrate. The High Council had confined her to the palace for the protection of her and the child within her, keeping it a secret from the people.

Running her hands over her growing belly, Kahlan sighed and looked up at the ceiling above her bed. The moon shined through the window, lighting the room well enough for her to see the details of the wood carving. She tried to describe them to Richard once, but found it impossible to find the right words. She wished she knew where he was, if he was all right and if she would see him again. After she had gathered the courage to tell Zedd that he was the father of her child, she was terrified that he would make sure that she never saw him again. For the first month, he did just that. One morning, when she was sitting breakfast in the dining hall, he sat down beside her with a wide grin.

"The council cannot know the child is a Rahl."

"I wouldn't dream of telling them," she replied cautiously. "Zedd, I didn't plan for any of this."

Nodding he laid his thin and fragile hand over hers, keeping her from bringing a piece of toast to her mouth. "I know dear one, but it has happened and you must now prepare for the consequences. You and Richard will never have the life you both want and it will be impossible to keep him away from this child. That is the beginning of your problems."

"I know."

The wizard raised his eyebrow suspiciously. "Do you? Kahlan, this is far more complicated than you may realize. It was hard enough to keep you both apart before and now you have a child and we both know Richard. He will not sit back and watch you raise this child alone. There is no chance for him to-"

"Find someone to be happy with;" she completed his thought instantly. "I've been thinking about the same thing since I felt her within me." Looking down to the plate of bread on the table, she sighed. "I didn't want to tell him. Zedd, I thought I was going to die and he would never know about the child- our child."

Kahlan rolled onto her side with a heavy sigh. A part of her wished that he didn't know that there was a chance for him to find a woman that he could be with and have the life he deserved. Instead, he was trapped in a cell with her. Zedd had been right, they did know Richard and he would do what he felt was right, even if it destroyed him. Tears were in her eyes as she continued to think about it. Carrying the child had brought out a side of her she didn't know existed. She cried at almost everything, especially any thought of Richard.

She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind, the scent of the man she loved suddenly filling her with each breath, causing her to cry harder. Pushing her face into one of her pillows, she tried to silence herself. Rubbing her belly with her right hand, she began breathing slow and deep in an attempt to calm down. Without warning, she sat up and leaned over the bed, throwing up the contents of her stomach. She felt dizzy, unable to catch her breath as she continued to lean over the bed. Before she fell to the floor, someone grabbed her.

******

She stared at him in disbelief. He couldn't be there. Reaching out, she grabbed his face in her hands, tracing over his features with her fingers to be sure it was him. He watched her for a moment, trying to keep from kissing her.

"Richard?" she said breathlessly. "I- I wasn't sure I was going to see you again."

Tears were still falling down her cheeks, making him move quickly to wipe them all. "I told you that I would come back to you." Taking her hands in his, he brought them to his chest and sighed. "I didn't want to leave, Kahlan. I- I didn't want you to wake up and see that I wasn't there."

Nodding, she gave a quick, small smile. "You had to go."

"I am so sorry that I left you, both of you."

Pulling her hands from his, she grabbed him again and pulled herself close, hugging him tightly. His arms were around her instantly, pushing his nose in her hair as he inhaled her scent. His heart was pounding and from the way she held herself against him, he believed that it was impossible for her not to feel it. He had dreamed of this moment every night since he left her side and now that it was happening, his fantasies hadn't come close. Moving back, he grabbed her face and went to kiss her.

She pushed backward at once, covering her mouth as she looked away. "I was just sick..." she whispered, embarrassed.

He grinned, slowly inching closer to her. "I don't care."

Their lips connected with a matching moan for only a moment before she pulled away once again. Moving off of the bed, Richard grabbed a large cup off of the dresser by the door. He had brought her a cup of tea, but abandoned it when he saw her falling from the bed. She couldn't help the soft laugh that escaped her as he watched eager for her to take a drink and be ready to kiss him again. Looking away from his captivating eyes, she watched as her fingers curled around the cup, not yet used to having them all back.

"You're wearing my shirt," Richard said softly after a long moment of silence.

"I couldn't make myself sleep without it."

He smiled for a brief moment, slightly surprised by her honest answer. "You look beautiful in it."

Raising her eyes to meet his, she gave a small smile and brought the cup to her lips. "I missed you."

He reached out, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear. "You've cut your hair."

She darted her eyes to the blankets, trying to think of something to say. Only he would notice the small trim she had received a few days before. When she brought her eyes back to him, he was staring at her stomach, a smile pulling at his lips. "She's all right." Lifting her arms, she gave him a clear view of the small bump. His shirt clung to her, making it more obvious that she carried a child. "For so long I was afraid that I was going to lose her."

He reached out and rested his hand against her, closing his eyes as though it would help him feel the child. Kahlan held the cup of tea to her chest, feeding off of its warmth as she waited for him to say something. "What happened?"

"It's a long story."

Lifting his eyes to hers, he continued to grin. "I have time." Catching her slight shiver from cold, he grabbed the blankets and brought them closer to her, covering her bare legs and then wrapping one around her shoulders. "Better?" Her nod and quick sip of tea told him everything. "What happened?"

She continued to sip the tea, finding it almost as comforting as his touch. "When I woke up, I- They had already began preparing my burial." Richard's shocked face didn't slow or stop her from continuing. "Victoria said that there was no chance the child would survive." Tears collected in her eyes at the memory, making her bring the cup back to her lips for more comfort. "I was so afraid you wouldn't forgive me."

"Forgive you?"

"How could you forgive me if I lost your child?"

"Kahlan, I-"

"And then the memories started to return." Fear covered his face, his mind spinning in what he knew and what had returned to him. "I wish they never came back." Lowering the cup to her lap, she stared down and watched the liquid splash against the edge.

"What do you remember?"

"Everything." Looking back up, she motioned her head to the rest of the room. "That's why it looks like this."

It was the first time he looked around the room. It was nothing like the way she used to describe it and he understood why. The walls were covered, hiding the stone that must have reminded her of their prison cell and there was a candle on every surface. She wanted to make sure it was never dark enough to make her believe she was back in that horrible place. Her bed was only a few feet from the door and the window directly in front of it, providing more than one exits if she needed. She never wanted to feel trapped again.

"Do you know what he did to you?"

"Timothy?" she questioned softly.

"You know his name?"

Wiping her own cheeks, she nodded. "He uh, he whispered it in my ear when he..." Her words trailed off as she tightened her hold on the warm cup. "His name came first; I didn't know why I knew it, not for days."

"He raped you."

"No," she said quickly, bringing her eyes to his. "He never- He couldn't." His face filled with confusion, not understanding what she was saying. "Sam would- He walked in and was so angry. He never tried again."

"I saw the drawings Kahlan; I saw the things he did to you."

"He didn't rape me, but he did touch me."

Taking the cup from her, he set it on the table beside the bed and returned for her hands, holding them in his and leaned forward. "I'm sorry."

"You don't remember, do you?"

"Remember what?"

A smile came to her face as she reached to his face and moved to her knees. "You stopped them. We were lying next to you and I- I couldn't move, I- had just tried to escape and you- When he touched me, you woke up and- You saved me." Staring into her eyes, he tried to remember, wishing that he could remember doing something right. "You saved me."

He pushed against her, collecting their lips once again as his arms wrapped around her. He had wanted to touch her for so long; he feared he would go mad. Moving his fingers into her hair, he brought her closer in an attempt to melt their bodies together. Her kiss was just as passionate as his, matching completely with a desperation that was always present within them. Sliding a hand down her back, he pulled at her lower back, holding her to him as he leaned forward. She went backward with no hesitation or caution; he seemed to make her forget everything she had been afraid of.

His shirt was pulled over his head quickly, her fingers rushing to meet his skin. Kissing across her jaw and down her neck, his hands began to rediscover her body. His tongue pushed against her neck, tasting the saltiness of the light sweat that covered her. Moving his right hand beneath her shirt, he took a moment to appreciate the soft skin as he moved his hand up to her breast. Hooking her left leg over his, she pushed up against him with a long, heated moan. She had forgotten what it felt like to be with him, how soft and gentle his touch was as he held onto her. After the memories of what their captors had done to her began to return, she had grown so afraid that she would never be touched with such gentleness again.

Tears began to collect in her eyes as he continued kissing over her chest. He knew that she had been touched by another man, but he was still here and he still wanted to be with her. She didn't understand why. Quickly, she pushed him from her and moved over to the bed table. Opening the top drawer, she pulled out something he never thought he would see again.

"Kahlan, no."

"It's the only way."

"Come here." Pulling her into his arms, he rolled onto his back. Her head rested against his shoulder while her right arm lay over his chest. It was a position he had dreamed of every night he was away. "I don't want you to wear that again."

"If I don't, we can never be together."

"I don't want it to be like that Kahlan. I want to be with you, all of you."

"We can't, you would be lost."

"Kahlan-"

"I don't want to lose you."

Tightening his arms around her, Richard sighed. "You could never lose me. I'll always be here."

He felt her tears hit his chest, as she took in a deep breath. "You weren't there before," she whispered. "I woke up and you weren't there."

Pushing her from his arms, he rolled onto his side and looked down at her. "I never wanted to leave you. I stayed for days, Kahlan. I tried to wait and if I could have, I never would have left."

"But you did. I woke up and I- I was so afraid, but you weren't there."

"Kahlan, I didn't want to leave you. I didn't want you to wake up and be afraid, that's why I told Zedd to stay with you. I made sure you wouldn't be alone."

Pushing him away from her, she sat up. "But you left!" she cried louder than she intended. "You left me!"

"I know, I left and I shouldn't have, but I promise I will never leave you again." He brought her back into his arms and hugged her against his chest as she cried. "I will never leave you again."

Clinging to him, she tried to stop crying. She hated being such a mess with him being there to see it. After a few minutes, the room was silent and her body stopped shaking in sobs. Lying down, Richard shifted until he was able to pull the blankets over them, making sure he never lost contact with her. Her hold on him never loosened, even in her sleep, telling that she had needed him far more than he imagined.

He didn't want to believe what Timothy had told him that she was broken, but he couldn't help but feel that she wasn't entirely herself anymore. Her mind had blocked out some of the memories for a reason and when she unlocked them, she slowly began fading away. If he had just waited a few more days, if he had been there when she awoken, maybe she would be better. If he had been there for her, maybe she wouldn't have remembered those horrible things. From the look in her eyes and the way she sipped the tea, he knew there was something more that she wasn't telling him, something that had to be the reason for everything.

The door to her room opened and almost silently, Zedd walked in with a large cup. He grinned at the sight of his grandson.

"How did you get her to fall asleep?"

Giving her a quick glance, Richard sighed. "She cried herself to sleep."

"Ah," the wizard nodded. "She hasn't been able to sleep on her own since she awoke. I've given her an elixir every night to help her, but it hasn't worked well."

"Zedd what happened?"

With a heavy sigh, the older man laid the cup on the table on the far left side of the room. "Remove her shirt."

"What?"

"Her back has been marked by him."

Gently moving her from his arms, he lifted the shirt until her shoulder blades were exposed. Her skin was burned, but it was fresh, his name branded upon her skin as though she was his property. "Dudeck," he said softly, tracing his fingers around the burnt flesh. "When did this-"

"A few weeks after you left. A letter had appeared every day until it was completed."

"Can't you heal her?"

"I have tried. She wouldn't agree to it."

Confused, he sat up and pulled the shirt off of her and covered her quickly. "What, why?"

"You must understand what it is. If I was to heal it, it would very likely kill the child within her. The delivery of the marks was meant to ensure it."

"That's when she told you the child was mine, wasn't it?

Nodding Zedd gave a small smile. "She was so afraid that if she lost the child, you would never forgive her."

Lying down beside her, he pulled her into his arms and wrapped his arms tightly around her. "I wouldn't have blamed you." Bringing his eyes to his grandfather, he tried to keep his face unreadable. "What does this mean for Kahlan?"

"I don't know. She survived the pain of the burns, but the magic hasn't affected the child."

"She could be fine?" he asked hopeful.

"I cannot say. Only time will tell." Walking to the door, the wizard looked over his shoulder and gave him a small smile. "Having you back should make this easier on her. If she awakes, give her the tea. I'll send someone to clean up the vomit."

"Zedd," he said softly, hoping that it wouldn't wake the woman in his arms. "Thank you for being with her."

******

Opening his eyes, he sat up almost instantly at the moment he realized she wasn't in his arms. She was sitting across from the bed, leaning over in a chair with her arms resting upon the windowsill. The shirt she had been wearing was still on the bed, letting him know that she was naked beneath the blanket that covered her. There was a large tray of food on the table beside her, seeming to have gone untouched. She looked lost in thought, he was almost afraid to speak.

"Did I wake you?"

"No," Richard replied almost instantly.

Turning her head to look at him, she licked her lips to buy another moment. "I was going to tell you."

"I know."

"I- I didn't want that to be the first thing on your mind."

Moving to the foot of the bed, he leaned toward her. "Does it hurt?"

"All the time." There was no hesitation to her answer, she had decided the moment she woke up and realized she was naked. He knew and she had to be honest with him. "At first I thought I was imagining it, but-"

"You weren't."

"When he saw the blood, Zedd thought I had scratched my back against something." She was staring at the floor, afraid to look up and meet his sad eyes. "I didn't think that I would make it back here."

"What about-"

Shaking her head, she turned her body sideways. Making it easier to look at him without facing him directly. "Zedd said that it would kill her, but- I felt her and she... Richard, she never wavered. It was almost as though it didn't hurt her at all."

"How is that possible?"

Meeting his eyes, a small smile crept onto her lips. "Because she's your child." Confusion was written clearly upon his face, making her smile grow wider. "I think that your magic has been protecting her." She looked away again. "I'm sorry about last night."

"It's all right."

"No, it's not. Richard, I know that you had to leave, if you hadn't, we would all be dead right now. I was- I was so afraid that I would never see you again."

"Kahlan, I understand that you would be upset. I told you that I would always protect you and then I left. I left you and you have every reason to be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you."

He could see that there was something she wasn't telling him; from the look on her face, she wasn't trying very hard to hide it. "What is it?"

"I'm ashamed to say what I had thought," she whispered almost too quietly for him to hear. "When I woke up and found out that you had left, my first thought was that-"

"Kahlan?"

"I thought that you figured out what I've always known, what I always feared you would learn."

Getting off of the bed, he moved to his knees at her feet. "What?"

"I thought that maybe you realized that we could never have the life you wanted and that this child was like a trap."

He stared at her for a moment, taking in her soft and entirely painful words. "I have never thought that way. Not once, Kahlan and I know that it's difficult to understand, that it's almost impossible for you to believe, but it's true. You can see it now as you look at me." His hands slid beneath the blanket and came to her belly, holding it gently as he stared up into her tearful eyes. "This child, our child, she is no trap to me. She is a miracle, she's ours and if we weren't going to have her, I would still stay."

"How can you say that?" she breathed out in a heavy whisper. "Why would you want to stay with someone you can never have?"

"It doesn't mean anything to me, Kahlan. You and me; our love for each other, it's stronger than everything else and I would stay with you forever because I love you. I can't be without you and every moment that I'm not with you is heartbreaking."

"I'm sorry, Richard."

"For what?"

"For hurting you."

He gave her a warm smile and hugged her, taking a moment to thank the spirits that she was all right. The soft sound of her stomach growling brought a soft laugh from him as he pulled back. "You should eat something."

"I can't. Not yet." She grinned for a moment at his confusion. "The thought makes me sick."

"Do you want to lie down?"

"No. Usually, sitting here for a while helps."

"Can I sit with you?"

She smiled. "I missed you."


	9. Chapter 9

They hadn't left the room, she didn't want to. She knew that the moment they opened the door, they would be separated and she wasn't ready for that yet. Richard had remained quiet for the past hour, listening as she tried to explain why she had not told anyone else who the father of her child was. She was leaning back in his arms, her back pressed against his chest as he sat against the bed. She held his arms around her, resting just above her belly as his fingers did a slight dance on the skin.

"We can never tell them can we?"

"I want to."

"But we can't, can we? If they found out-"

"I don't believe they would take her from us, they wouldn't dare."

"What changed your mind?"

Turning her head, she looked back at him. "You. She is yours and that changes everything. They were afraid of Darken Rahl bringing a male Confessor to be born; they feared the darkness of the child, of his magic. I don't believe our child would be that way. They would have no reason to fear her." She smiled after a moment and turned away, leaning back against him once more. "They will know as she grows. She has your magic, there is no hiding that."

"We don't have to tell them, Kahlan."

"Yes we do," she said quickly. "I've wanted to tell everyone I've walked past."

Tightening his arms around her, he smiled into her hair. "Me too."

"We can tell them before dinner."

He gave a light laugh and leaned his head back against the bed. "We could tell them now," he offered. Taking his hands she slowly began moving them over her. "You're right, I don't think now would be a good time."

She moaned softly as his body began to respond to her actions. Shifting above him, Kahlan pushed the blanket from her and slowly turned her head. He kissed her instantly, abandoning her breasts for her cheeks in an attempt to help turn her around. The last time she had sat above him like this, in the bathtub, replayed in his mind, reminding him of his unending desire for her. She pushed against him, rocking in pleasure as she tried desperately to keep from losing control.

Breaking their kiss, he pushed his forehead against hers and gasped for a breath. Grabbing her hips, he slowed her rocking to a slight halt as he turned his head to keep her from kissing him again. "If you keep doing that, I'm not going to be able to stop." She could feel him against her, aroused and unable to be released. She hated not being able to give him what he needed, what she wanted to give him. Smiling, he lifted her from the floor and carried her around to the bed. "Here,"

Kicking off his pants, he crawled naked under the covers and pulled her into his arms until she was nearly on top of him. It was perfect. He could feel her smile against his chest as she gently moved her right hand over his skin. She danced her fingers over him, taking the moment to enjoy the feel of his skin against the tips of her fingers. His fingers, on her back, almost perfectly matched the movements of hers on his chest. His heart pounding with the feel of her naked body against his.

"Kahlan, I've- I've had a while to think and I was hoping that we-"  
>Lifting her head, she grinned down at him. "What name did you like?"<p>

"How did you know?"

"The look in your eyes when you looked at my stomach. I wanted to ask then, but I- What is it?"

"Have you thought of a name?"

Shaking her head, she lowered her chin to his shoulder. "No, I was going to wait until I saw her."

"I thought about it a lot."

"What is it?"

"Emma," he said softly. Her head lifted instantly, making him jump. "You don't like it?"

She smiled widely, heart pounding at his choice. "It's perfect."

"It is?"

Nodding, she grabbed his face and kissed him quickly. "It's beautiful."

Crawling out of the bed, she walked across the room to the wardrobe and pulled out one of her dresses. "What are you doing?"

"I can't go into a meeting with the council naked, can I?"

Richard smiled and sat up, watching her get dressed. "You're the Mother Confessor; you can do anything you'd like."

Looking over her shoulder, she grinned. "Are you coming?"

******

The High Council had reacted to the news the way he expected them to, but it didn't bother Kahlan. He was surprised and proud of the way she responded to them. Within moments of telling them that Richard was the father of her child, she made it clear that they weren't going to have a say in the decision to keep and raise the child together. When they told him that he was making a mistake, she remained quiet and allowed him to speak freely. The High Council laughed at him, knowing that he wouldn't be able to survive without lying with the woman beside him.

Kahlan said nothing as he tried to tell them that they were wrong, that he wouldn't leave and start a family with another. He tried to assure them that it wasn't possible, that after a few weeks, maybe months, his need would be too strong to be ignored. They were concerned that the Mother Confessor would give in to their desires and once she confessed him, she wouldn't be able to live with it. She would kill herself to release him. The couple knew the truth of their words, if they did lose control and he was confessed, she would give up her life for him.

Taking his hand, Kahlan nodded to the council and turned around, pulling him along as she walked from the room. There was nothing neither of them could say that would convince them that they were wrong. A part of her knew they could be right, but what he had said to her before; the way he had looked into her eyes as he told her that he would never leave her, she believed him more. She came to a complete stop at the door, seeming to think about where she wanted to go. It had been months since she had left the palace, there were so many things she wanted to do and show him.

"You're bleeding," he said quietly. Closing the distance between them, he turned her around and pushed her hair over her shoulders. "We need to find Zedd."

"I'm fine, it's happened before. It will stop in a few minutes."

"Kahlan," he started as she turned her head to look at him.

"All right." There was no point in arguing with him about this; he wouldn't risk anything happening to her. "But we don't need Zedd."

******

"This is all we can do?" Richard asked as he opened a small jar.

Dropping the top of her dress to her waist, she pulled all of her hair over her shoulder and sighed in waiting. "It was all Zedd could do that helped."

Rubbing the honey like substance over the burns, he tried to be gentle, hoping that it would help. "The bleeding stopped, but Kahlan, this is- It's... I think we should call for Zedd."

"Why?"

"Because it's worse than before," he said quietly. "Here, lay forward." He kept her hair from falling onto her back as she laid her head down on a pillow, needing to do something other than stare at her back. "Why haven't you said anything?"

"About what?"

"Kahlan, I know that this has been hurting more than usual and you've said nothing. Why?"

Turning her head, she tried to look at him before he stopped her. "I didn't want to worry you."

"I'm always worried about you."

"You shouldn't. Richard, it's fine."

"No it's not. I'm going to find Zedd." Moving from the bed, he walked to the door. "Don't move." He knew that if he didn't say something, she would redress and he wouldn't have a chance of getting her to show his grandfather.

He must have run the moment the door closed, because within a blink, he and Zedd were back. She felt uncomfortable with both men looking and touching her bare back. It only made her remember the way she had felt when Richard had brought her to the town, damaged. Closing her eyes, she remained quiet and listened carefully to everything the men said. She hadn't realized that it had gotten worse.

"When did you notice a change in the pain?" Zedd asked after a few minutes of examining the burns.

The pain had increased more than she had admitted, but after everything that she had gone through, it didn't feel like much. "When Richard arrived."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Richard asked quietly. "And don't say that you didn't want to worry me, because I won't believe it."

With a heavy sigh, she pushed her head harder into the pillow. "I thought it was nothing, that I was somehow imagining it because you were here."

The wizard knew instantly what she meant, but his grandson had to think on it for a few moments. She had gone through so much pain with him, that now that he was back, she expected more to come. Pain with Richard was inevitable. There was so much she hadn't told him, things that Zedd had learned while she was healing that he knew she would never share again, especially with the man she loved. The events of their capture had changed her in many ways, most of them, he thought were only for a while, but now he wasn't entirely sure.

"We're going to fix this, Kahlan. I promise." His voice was filled with promise, making her believe him for a moment. "You're never going to hurt again."

She gave a light laugh and closed her eyes as Zedd covered her back with more of the paste. "I'm going to give birth; you cannot shield me for that pain."

Grabbing her hand, he leaned his face down close to hers. "I can try."

"Lay still, this may hurt."

Kahlan pushed part of the pillow into her mouth to quiet her cries of pain. Richard, held her shoulders, firm and gently to keep her body from lifting off of the bed. Tears collected and fell from her eyes as her cries grew louder and louder, the pain coming close to some that she had experienced, back in their prison cell. Images flashed before her eyes, the look in Sam's eyes as he held her down to the ground and the sound of his laughter as she begged for him to stop. The taste of her own blood as he slammed his fist into her face flooded her mind in a panic blur. As far as she knew, in that moment she was back.

With all of her strength, she pushed the men from her and fell onto the floor, backing herself into the far corner of the room, away from them both. She was shaking in fear, her eyes were tinted with a white glaze and she begged desperately for them to leave her alone. Without hesitation; the Seeker moved toward her slowly, being careful not to appear as a threat. Every time he took a step closer, she pushed closer to the wall and tightened her arms around her chest.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he whispered to her as he took another step.

"You always hurt me." It was quiet, but was like she had screamed it into his ears, making him stop instantly.

Zedd laid his hand on his shoulder and sighed. "She's not thinking clearly, Richard."

"You shouldn't have come back."

"Kahlan-"

"Why did you come back?" she interrupted the wizard quickly, her voice still filled with terror and confusion. "You were free."

Kneeling down, Richard sat back on his heels and brushed the fingers of his right hand through his hair. He needed an extra moment to find the right words to say to her. "There is no freedom without you."

"Richard, she's not-"

He didn't need him to finish the sentence, he knew what he was going to say. "I know, but it's still on her mind. She needs answers; she has to understand that I can't live without her." His eyes were locked on her, watching her carefully as though he thought that she would do something to hurt herself. "Kahlan, listen to me. I will always come back to you. You are not keeping me from a life, you are my life. I need you to understand that, I love you and that's not going to change." Taking a deep breath, he inched closer to her. "You thought that I had realized that I could have a life away from you, but you were wrong. There is no life away from you, Kahlan I cannot breathe without you."

"You drive me mad, you boil my blood and every thought that I have, they are of you. It's you, only you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, waking up to see your smile. You make my heart beat." The moment he finished, he was inches from her. His hands on her knees; close to her chest. "I don't want to be with anyone else. I want you."

Her eyes were losing the cloudy film that covered them, the blue drawing him in all the more. "You can't have me."

"Why not?"

"I'm a-"

"Confessor," he finished for her. Brushing the back of his fingers against her cheek, he sighed. "Kahlan, that's not a reason."

Tears were still falling down her cheeks as she stared at him. "I'm so afraid."

"Of what?"

"Everything," she said in a breathless gasp of a whisper. The world was continuously crumbling around her and she wasn't sure what was real and what now that Richard was back, she was terrified that they had never left the prison cell.

Nodding his head, he tried to grab her arm, but she pulled away quickly. "It's all right; I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to help you to the bed."

Shaking her head, she covered her face in her hands and cried. "This isn't real." She repeated herself over and over again, softly as she continued to cry.

She struggled against him, pushing him away as he tried to hold and comfort her. Her blood stained the wall behind her as she leaned harder against it. After a few moments, he held her arms to her sides and lifted her from the floor, carrying her to the bed as she struggled against him. Calling over his shoulder, he begged the wizard for help, not wanting to hurt her in any way. Coming to the side of the bed, Zedd said something softly and instantly, Kahlan went limp and quiet.

"What happened?"

"She believed she hadn't escaped again."

"Again?" Richard asked, pulling one of the blankets over her.

With a sigh, Zedd sat down on the bed and lowered his voice to a soft whisper. "It's happened many times in the past, but I had thought she had gone through the last of it." From the look on his grandson's face, he knew he needed to continue. "As we made our way back here, she would awaken and for a brief amount of time, believe she was in the cell. She would cry out for you until I could calm her down."

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Richard, there are some things that would be best if you didn't know."

His words only made his need to know grow even more and if he didn't learn; he didn't know how he was going to take care of her? "Zedd, please..."

"When her memories began to return, I made her talk through them. I thought that it would help her put it all behind her, but instead, it pulled her in deeper. The things those men did to her, what she didn't tell you, those things are worse than anyone can imagine. I never imagined hearing any of it."

"What?" he said softly. "Tell me everything."

******

Zedd left Richard speechless and in tears. Hours passed and he found it impossible to move from her side, to release her hand and breathe. Kahlan hadn't told him any of the things she had told his grandfather and now he understood why it scared her so much to be with him. Sam and Timothy hadn't raped her, but their men had. It explained more than he imagined. The way she would cling to him for safety and the desperation in her kiss, it was her way of trying to find safety and a short moment of comfort. She was broken and it tore him apart.

"I killed them all, Kahlan. You're safe now. No one is ever going to hurt you like that ever again, I promise and you know me. I would never- Spirits, why didn't you tell me what they had done? Not only did they rape you, but they-" He couldn't say it out loud. The taste of it in his mouth made him sick and he didn't want to speak the words in front of her. "I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you, but you can't let this beat you. You're stronger than this and I know that it hurts, that it's painful to think about any of it, but we can get through it. Kahlan, this is just a small bump in the road. Soon, you're going to give birth to my child and we're going to have a family." Squeezing her hand, he lowered himself to the floor and laid his head down on the bed. "We're going to get through this. You're not alone." Choking back another wave of tears, he pushed his lips to the back of her hand to silence himself. She wouldn't be asleep forever and he didn't know what woman would be there when she opened her eyes. "You're not alone anymore."

As he lay there, his mind began to run through it all over again. He could see the fear, pain and uncertainty in her eyes, but he had missed it. Had he missed it? He questioned himself, or did he simply ignore it in the hopes of it getting better? She told him in everything she had done, but he missed it.

He understood why she hadn't told him. She hated feeling weak in front of him; hated that she needed him. The look in her eyes as he had held her hands after her fingers were removed replayed in his mind, further supporting his knowledge. She would never be the same woman she was before they were captured; he knew that because he wasn't the same man, but he didn't doubt that their change would help them to be closer in some way. If he was to be honest with her, he would have to tell her that those nights in that room were remembered for something other than the pain.

It was wrong, of course, but what he remembered more than anything was the feel of her skin against his as he held her in his arms. Rocking her to sleep, he felt her relax completely in his arms, showing that she trusted him. It was the moment of calm hope he felt while he held her that overtook everything else. Those moments where she allowed him to kiss her; tell her of his love, they were what kept him sane. Maybe she needed those memories.

Her hand moved and he nearly jumped from his skin. Lifting his head, he watched her face and waited for her eyes to open. He had a new plan and he was anxious to begin. No matter what happened, he wasn't going to let her down again.

"Kahlan?" He knew she was awake, even though she hadn't opened her eyes yet. "Are you all right?"

"Was it a dream?"

"No," he replied tenderly. "It wasn't."

Opening her eyes, she turned her head away from him and tried to stop her jaw from shaking in fear. "I'm sorry."

"I know." He knew better than to tell her that she had done nothing wrong. In her mind, she had done something terribly wrong and she needed his forgiveness. "I understand."

"Sometimes I forget what's real."

Nodding, he moved to sit on the side of the bed, making sure he didn't let go of her hand. "I know, Zedd told me."

She turned her head toward him quickly and pulled her hand away. "What else did he tell you?"

"Everything."

Kahlan swallowed hard and blinked away a fresh set of tears. "He shouldn't have."

"Why? Kahlan, you shouldn't have to go through this alone."

Sitting up, she pulled the blanket with her, finding it held a small amount of comfort. "Yes I do. This is happening to me. I can't burden you with-"

"It's not a burden."

"Didn't you see me?" she half shouted as she threw up her hands. "It's been happening more often and I can't hide it anymore! It's more than a burden, it's a curse and I can't let you- I will not allow you to be a part of this."

"You're carrying my child, Kahlan."

Shaking her head, she covered her mouth to drown out the cry. "How do you know? It could be any one of theirs!"

"She's not," he said quickly. "This child is ours."

"How can you be sure? There were so many of them, I can't even remember who was first and you think-"

"I know," Richard whispered. "I know that this child is mine because I love her. I've loved her from the moment I learned you were pregnant."

"Because you thought she was yours!"

"Spirits Kahlan, she is mine!" He hadn't meant to shout at her, but he couldn't stop himself. He was angry with her for thinking that the child may not be his, even when he knew she was probably right. She didn't jump or stray her eyes at his raised voice. She expected it, wanted it. "Kahlan, listen to me. It's not about blood, my father raised me as though I were his and if this child isn't mine, we will never know. I will never care, because to me, this child is ours."

"I didn't want you to know."

"I know." He frowned deeply. "You wanted me to leave, but you didn't want me to-" He sighed, grabbing her hands. "After everything that you have gone through, you didn't want to hurt me." Kahlan stared at the blanket, trying to ignore the feel of his hands holding hers. "After everything, you were thinking about me and now you have to think about you." It was something she never did, he knew her better than that, but he needed to try. "You said that this has been happening more, when?"

The look on his face told he expected an answer and wouldn't settle for anything less. "Almost every day."

"Is this the first time since I-"

"No." Her answer surprised him and she knew that it would, but he would know if she lied. "When I woke up this morning, I- For a few minutes, I wasn't sure where I was."

"What happened?"

Swallowing, she looked up at him and creased her brow. "I thought that we were back in that terrible place, I-" Kahlan looked away in shame and shook her head. "I could feel their hands on me."

"Is that what woke you?"

"I think so, I can't remember." Meeting his eyes once again, she licked her lips quickly to buy a moment more of time. "But you brought me back."

"How?"

"You were talking in your sleep. Something that you said, you- Did you really go back after you left?"

He nodded. "I had some unfinished business with one of the men."

"You killed him?"

"He threatened you."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Kahlan, you can ask me anything, always."

"Not something like this, but if I don't ask now, I- I need to know." Richard gave a slow nod, now hesitant of what she was going to ask. "If you knew what they had done before, would you still care about the child?"

He paused for a moment, knowing that she wouldn't believe him if he answered instantly. "The child is a part of you. She is a beautiful miracle from something terrible and I would love her even if there was no chance that I was the father. This child is ours and I can't begin to describe how happy I am about it."

Studying his face, she did her best to see a lie, but there was nothing. A part of her wanted to kiss him, to hold onto him and never let him go, but the rest of her wanted to shove him away for being so stupid. She did neither. Looking away, she simply nodded and pulled her hands free of his. "I'm sorry."

Moving her so that she laid down, he pulled the covers over her and sighed. "I know. Here, try to get some rest."

The moment she closed her eyes, he sat down on the floor and leaned against the bed. There was no doubt in his mind that he was the father, and he knew that she didn't doubt it either. She felt their child the moment she was created and now that she knew what the other men had done to her, it made her question everything she thought was real; everything that she felt. With some time, she would know what he knew and there the healing would begin. He just wished that he had seen her distress sooner.


	10. Chapter 10

Her every whimper, moan of pain and movement was noticed by him. He hadn't moved from the side of the bed since he pulled a chair closer. Several servants had come in with food and some herbs that Zedd had sent. From the looks of it all, he had a new plan to heal the burns on her back. The warm up of tea kept his hands busy, making it possible for him not to reach out and touch her with every breath she drew in. After an hour, her face relaxed and she looked to be sleeping peacefully. He prayed that it would continue.

"Have you been here the whole time?" Richard smiled as she turned her head to look at him. "You didn't have to waste the rest of your night here."

"It wasn't wasted."

"I wanted you to see the city."

Leaning forward, he sat his cup onto the floor and grabbed her hand. "I will, with you."

Smiling, she struggled to sit up, accepting his help without hesitation. "I didn't mean to sleep through the night."

"How do you feel?"

"Foolish," she answered in a soft whisper. "Richard, I- I shouldn't have allowed myself to-"

"It's all right, I understand."

Tilting her head, she met his eyes. "You do?"

"When Zedd told me what you remembered, the things that you had said to him about- I understand how you would- I understand, Kahlan."

"She's yours, Richard."

He grinned widely, finding his entire being comforted by her words. "I know."

"You should lie down for a while. You look exhausted."

"I do?"

She gifted him with a light laugh, her hair falling over her shoulders and around her face as she leaned forward. "You do." Grabbing his arm, she pulled him onto the bed, moving quickly as to keep him from noticing that she was once again in pain. She froze as she noticed him staring at her in disappointment. "What's wrong?"

"It hurts again."

Squeezing his arm gently, she nodded with a small smile. "Not as much as before. I can handle it." The concern on his face grew as he moved closer to her. He straddled her thighs, holding her face in his hands as though it somehow made him able to read her. "I promise, Richard. For now, I can handle it."

"Kahlan-"

"All right," she sighed, releasing his arm. There was no point in arguing with him. When Richard set his mind to something, it was unwise to stand in his way.

She began moving her dress from her shoulders, using it as a distraction from watching him as he crawled off of her and walked to the table beside the door. She wanted to look at him, to remind herself of everything that was good, but she was terrified that if she did, she would break. Moving her hair over her left shoulder, she turned around and stared at the headboard in waiting. He made sure to make noise as he approached her, knowing that one small move could send back into the darkness. Easing onto the bed behind her, Richard brushed his fingers over her back, just below the burns. A small moment of tenderness that he felt would comfort her more than he imagined.

Holding her breath, she waited for him to begin. The instant the new paste touched her skin; she jumped in surprise and released the breath that filled her lungs. It was warm, making her body relax beneath his fingertips and close her eyes. It was pleasant, relieving her of the aches that had grown to take over most of her body. A soft sigh of relief escaped her as she leaned forward, letting go of everything that had haunted her. For the first time in months, she was in no pain and was free.

It happened in an instant, surprising them both. She turned around and closed the distance between them, connecting their lips as though it was the only way they would survive the moment. Her fingers pushed up into his hair, pulling him to her as she pushed against him. He could feel the difference in her touch, kiss and hold; it urged him onward. Her dress was already at her waist, her skin begging for his touch; his lips and tongue.

Lowering her back to the bed, Richard tossed the covers aside and pushed down against her. Their bodies synced in rhythm, their hands moving seamlessly along the other's body as they rocked against the other. It heated quickly, but there was nothing stopping them, nothing screaming in their minds to warn them of what could happen. He had craved her for so long; feared that he would never have the opportunity to touch and kiss her the way that he had dreamed of as he was away. This almost didn't seem real to him.

Whispering his name, Kahlan pushed her chest against his lips as he began to explore her newly larger breasts. She was beautiful, their child within her making her even more irresistible to him. Pulling at his shirt, she forced him to lift his lips from her skin so that she was able to remove the cloth from his body. She reconnected their lips at once, not wanting to waste a single moment. He couldn't stop his hands from pushing her dress from her waist, the feel of her skin driving him wild.

He froze instantly as her hands slid between them, reaching for the laces of his pants. Breaking their kiss, he grabbed her hands and moved them as he sat up.

"Kahlan, we shouldn't."

She was panting, staring up at him with wide eyes as she struggled to keep still beneath him. "You're right. I'm sorry."

Richard smiled and squeezed her hands. "I'm not."

Taking one of her hands from his, she reached up and touched his chest. "I- I shouldn't have started that."

"I'm glad that you did. I've wanted you to kiss me like that for as long as I can remember."

Her smile took his breath away, making his mind clear as she leaned up to kiss him again. It was the first time in a while that she had felt this way. She didn't want it to end. Pulling him down, she rolled them to their sides and snuggled closer to him, resting her head beneath his chin.

"You should get some sleep."

Grinning, he reached over her until he felt the blanket. "I'll only be able to sleep if you stay with me."

"I'll be here," she replied softly as he pulled one of the blankets over them. Moving quickly, she pulled back for a moment and reached beneath the blanket. Before he could ask her what she was doing, she laid her dress beside them, shamelessly.

Richard pulled her back into his arms, holding her tightly against him as shifted to get comfortable. Her breasts were pushed against his chest, making it possible for him to feel her heart pound with each breath. The feel of her swollen belly between them, their child resting within, made him grin with pride. If there was anything he had ever wanted, he had it now in this moment. This was everything.

******

He had been asleep for hours, his body desperately needing the rest after the hard trials he had faced. As she had told him she would, Kahlan remained with him through it all. Occasionally, she would drift off to sleep for a few moments, but awaken at every noise. She spent most of the time running her fingers lightly over his skin, still in awe that she was able to do so. For so long, she had feared her fingers wouldn't return, that when she was able to touch or pick something up, it felt almost new to her. His skin was soft in some places and rough in others, making her want to explore even more. Drawing her bottom lip into her mouth, she bit down lightly as she traced the thumb of her left hand over his bicep, making his hold on her tighten and bring her closer.

When she feared that he was about to awaken, she would pull back her hands and focus on the small vein in his neck that thumped with his heart beat. It comforted her to watch, knowing that this part of his life that even he missed was seen and found beautiful. She nearly laughed at her own thoughts, the silliness of a pregnant woman's emotions taking over again. With a deep breath, she rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. For the first time, the stone didn't frighten her.

Richard's hand moved slowly over her stomach, pulling her from her thoughts. He inched closer, resting his head against her shoulder as he attempted to close the distance between them. Wrapping her arms around him, she shifted her body so that she was able to hold him the way he always held her. She was afraid that he could hear her heart pounding beneath his ear as his head came to her chest, the feel of his warm breath on her breasts, arousing her more than she could hide. The smile that came to his lips didn't go unnoticed, but she said nothing as she closed her eyes and focused on the feel of him against her.

A low moan fled her lips as he inched his hand lower, beneath the blanket. Pushing the fingers of her right hand into his hair, she pulled as she tried to get his hand to continue moving.

"That's not fair," she whimpered as he lifted his head and pulled back his hand.

With a wide smile, he leaned over her, his lips lightly grazing hers for only a brief moment before he pulled back. He watched her eyes fall shut as his fingers tapped over her stomach, moving lower with each breath. Her lips parted as he pulled at her right leg, bringing it to bend at the knee. He studied her face, ginning as a smile tugged at the edges of her mouth. Kahlan gasped lightly as his hand descended down the back of her thigh, his hand stopping completely as she attempted to get his hand where she wanted it.

"Don't stop."

"Kahlan…" He paused as she opened her eyes. They were completely dark, he had brought her magic to the edge of her and she was fighting to hold it in. She had never seemed so beautiful to him before. It had been so long since he had seen her this way, seen her as the woman he knew she was. Without thought, he connected their lips and allowed her to pull him onto her.

Hooking her legs around his, she arched herself up against him as she pushed her fingers into his hair. He couldn't get enough of her kiss, the brief moment they would part for air was almost unbearable and he wasn't sure he would survive. Something caught his eye as he parted for a much needed gasp of air. The white sheets beneath her were now stained red.

"Spirits Kahlan," he whispered as he pulled his hand from her shoulder, showing her the blood.

Staring at his hand, she shook her head. "I didn't feel it." She grinned widely, suddenly excited as she pushed him off of her. Pulling all of her hair over her shoulders, she looked over to him. "What does it look like?"

Confused, Richard leaned closer for a better look. "I- I don't understand…"

"What?"

"You didn't feel this?"

She grinned, looking over her shoulder to him. "No, Richard what's wrong?" The room was completely silent for a few moments, her heart the only sound she could hear as it pounded in her ears. "You're scaring me."

"There's nothing there," he whispered. "There's only a little blood."

"How- Are you sure?"

"Here," Richard moved from the bed and walked to the table beside the window, grabbing a small towel and dipping it into one of the cups. Wiping the blood from her back, he waited for her to scream, to make some kind of moan of pain, but she didn't. "How does it feel?"

"It feels, fine. I don't remember it hurting since you fell asleep."

Turning her around, he studied her face for a few moments. "What did you do while I slept?"

She smiled widely and tilted her head, making her hair fall to the side seductively. "I went for a walk through the forest, thought it would clear my head. Then, I-" she laughed, unable to keep a straight face at his confusion. "I laid here, I thought and for the first time in months, I didn't think about what happened to us back there."

"What did you think about?"

She could hear the hope in his voice; see the quick light that flashed in his eyes as he spoke, even though he tried his best to hide it. "I thought about how things could be. I... I wished for how I wanted us to be."

He didn't know what to say. Everything in his mind was racing and he wasn't sure that he was truly awake. After everything that she had been through, why now? Why was something good happening to her now? Reaching out, he laid his hand against her cheek to reassure himself that it was real; that she was real. Kahlan took hold of his wrist, jolting him from his thoughts as she brought his thumb to her lips. It was real, she gave him the only true test.

Pulling her to him, he crashed his lips against hers with a low moan of wanting. Everything within him was thriving on the joy of the moment and he couldn't waste it. Within seconds, he was laying over her as he tried to close all distance between them. She focused on keeping her hands away from the laces of his pants, not wanting him to stop her as he had done before. It was harder than she'd admit.

He kept their lips connected, parting for only a short moment for a, much needed, gasp for air. With his hands roaming over her body, she felt her hold on her magic loosen and threaten to destroy him. Her mind warned her, whispering softly in the back as she pushed it farther away. It was trying to keep her from him, trying to take this moment from them. She wanted to quiet it forever, but she knew what that would mean.

Breaking their kiss, she pushed her hands against his chest and slightly lifted him from her. "You have to stop."

He lingered above her, not wanting to move away from the warmth of her body. "I know; I'm sorry."

"It's still in the dresser." She whispered it with a hope, knowing that he knew what she meant.

"I can't let you do that, Kahlan."

"I want to."

Richard gave her a small smile and lowered himself back down to her. "No you don't and you shouldn't have to."

Reaching up, she took his face in her hands and pulled him close. "I want to be with you."

"Confess me." He ignored the look of horror on her face and held her hands to his face. "No, Kahlan listen to me. If you release your magic right now, we're together forever."

"I could never do that to you."

Moving onto his side, he inched himself close to hers. "I know, but it doesn't stop me from wanting you to." He laid his left hand on her belly and sighed. "I want to fill these halls with our children."

"She's a start, Richard."

He waited a moment before meeting her eyes. "But is it enough?"

"For me or for you?"

"Us," he replied at once.

"For me, this is more than I have ever hoped for."

Moving to his back, Richard closed his eyes and licked his lips. "I'm afraid of what happens next."

"What do you mean?"

Frustrated, he sat up and leaned forward, quickly brushing his fingers back through his hair before standing. "You're going to be expected to- You heard the council and we both know that when it comes time for you to have another child, it will kill me to know that you're with another." When he turned around to look at her, she was pulling a blanket over herself. "I don't want another man to touch you."

Avoiding his gaze, she shifted in the bed until she was able to get comfortable. "Me either." With a heavy sigh, she looked at him. "I don't want- This, what we have, it will never be enough."

"Confess me."

"I can't."

Moving onto the bed, he began pulling the blanket from her grasp, slowly revealing her skin. "Then make love to me, right now and forget everything else."

"I won't," she breathed out quietly, turning her head to keep him from kissing her. "I will not destroy you. I would rather die."

"I know." He turned her head, gently and kissed her quickly. "I want to feel it Kahlan. I want to know what it feels like to have your magic flow through, claiming me. I want to be yours."

"You would be gone, Richard and I- I can't do this without you. The real you." She had taken his face in her hands as she spoke, unable to keep from touching him. "I don't want to take away your choices. I don't want to make you want to be with me."

"I'll always want to be with you. Your-"

Pushing him off of her, she pulled the blanket back over herself and moved to her knees on the bed. "I want you to want to be with me," she whispered through tears. "I want you to be able to be with any other woman, but want to be with me and if I confess you, I will take away your choice. I want to be your choice, not your Mistress."

He stared at her for a moment, letting her words sink in. "You will always be my choice, Kahlan."

"Not if I confessed you."

"It wouldn't change anything for me."

"It would change everything for me. I could never- Not after I've... I couldn't do that to you."

Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her against him and hugged her tightly. "I will find a way, Kahlan."

"The only way is sitting in the drawer of the side table."

"That's not an option, Kahlan. I can't let you put that thing back on. I can't let you lock away a part of yourself."

Pulling her head back, she looked up at him. "That part will destroy you."

Taking her face in his hands, he smiled warmly. "Maybe, but it's beautiful."

"No, it's not," she whispered quietly.

Moving her down to the bed, he laid beside her as he pulled the blankets to cover her. "Yes, it is. Kahlan, before when you- You were close to releasing your magic, I could see it in your eyes and I- It was beautiful."

******

For months, they had lived almost completely the way they had dreamed. Each night, he would wait in their room for her to return and the moment the door closed, he never let her go. His new favorite time of the day followed the closing of the door, where he was able to spend time with her alone. The new nightgown the seamstress had made her took his breath away. The way that it hugged her belly and screamed for his eyes to come to her breasts, he couldn't tear his eyes off of her.

He hadn't seen Kahlan in hours and he was finding it difficult to focus on anything other than the look in her eyes when she would walk through the door. It was impossible to miss the hunger within them, even as she tried her best to keep it hidden. He could almost feel her warmth beside him as he looked out of their window. It was there she would find him most nights, looking out at the city and trees, he started to wrap his arm around her when he realized that she wasn't there.

She was never out this late and he was starting to get worried. Their child would be arriving soon and he was afraid that she would be in the dungeons taking confessions when it happened. Her magic grew with the child, taking more of her energy each time she released her magic and he knew that if she went into labor, she wouldn't have the strength to get to help. With a sigh, he turned on his heels quickly and rushed for the door. He couldn't take the risk that she would go through it alone.

Opening the door, he walked quickly down the hall, nodding to the guards that were stationed every few paces. Since the council learned that the child was his, they had more than doubled the guard and he found himself more grateful for it every day. He was nearly halfway to the dungeons when he saw her in the distance and instantly he sighed in relief. She was standing with her back against one of the stone walls with her eyes closed and her hands lying on top of her belly. As he came closer, he heard her whispering to herself softly, repeating it over and over again.

Richard slowed down, as he got closer, not wanting to startle her by approaching too quickly. "Kahlan?"

She jumped at once, dropping her hands to her sides with a light gasp. "I'm sorry. I meant to-"

"What's wrong?"

"What? Nothing. I was just-"

Moving quickly to her, he pushed her gently back against the wall and blocked her way of escape. "That was not 'nothing', Kahlan. I've seen that look before, you- You thought that you were back there again."

"It was only for a moment and only because I'm tired."

"Is this the first time?"

Nodding her head, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "Yes."

"I don't understand-"

"It's all right, now. It was just a few moments of confusion." She could see the worry pouring out of his eyes as he stared at her in search of the truth. "It's fine now, I promise."

"Kahlan-"

Taking his hands, she gave him a small smile. "I'm all right. It wasn't as bad as before, not as strong."

"How do you mean?"

"Before, I couldn't hold on to anything around me, but..." Her smile widened as she brought his hands to her stomach. "I could feel her the whole time. I knew that I was here, it just took me a few moments to get my mind to know it too."

Leaning forward, he pressed his forehead to hers and whispered. "I'm afraid for you."

"I'm fine. With a little rest, I will be back to myself and this will be just a memory." The warmth of her breath against his lips made him release a soft moan and inch closer. "Richard, if we stay here any longer, someone will see..."

The soft whisper of her words brought his attention back to what he was doing. His hands were moving over her sides, pulling her closer as he pushed against her. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not." Grabbing his face, she kissed him quickly and then started down the hallway.

******

The instant the door closed behind them, she pushed him back against the door and kissed him. He had his arms around her within seconds, making sure she was as close as possible. The walk back to their room had been one of the longest as he struggled to keep up with her and keep his eyes from devouring her beautiful form. His arousal was impossible to miss as she brushed her hands over him, making him release a low growl as she pushed harder against him. He wasn't sure he would be able to stop this time.

She was moving quickly, pushing her hands beneath his shirt as she pulled him toward the bed. They had done this many times, each bringing them closer to the edge as they tested their limits. He couldn't count the hours they had spent in their bed, clinging to each other as their lips and tongues tasted the other. This time, he wasn't sure there was a force in existence that could tear him away from her.

Lowering her onto the bed, he lifted her dress, needing to make contact with more of her skin. He grabbed her legs, sliding his hands up her thighs as he covered her neck and chest with his lips. His shirt was tossed to the floor as he ripped open the front of her dress. Desperation flooded the couple as their clothing was dismissed, each trying to fill the void that only the other could. She bucked against him, silently begging him to fill her as their passion took control of her.

His mind was screaming for him to stop. Everything within him knew that she would never forgive herself if she released her magic and with his fingers moving to bring her to the edge, he knew it was close. She rocked harder and faster, trying to bring her release as he began to back away. Grabbing his hand, she whispered for him not to stop and suddenly he was gone.

Opening her eyes, she jumped up to find him. Richard was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing away from her with his elbows on his thighs and face in his hands. Pulling her dress over her chest, she inched toward him slowly as she tried to make her heart stop pounding. She froze in place as she realized how close they had come and with a silent gasp, she covered her mouth with her left hand and crawled out of the bed. He turned as she disappeared behind their changing wall.

He knew what was going on in her mind and that behind that thin wall, she was doing her best to keep him from crying aloud. Standing, he pulled his pants on and walked over to her. Kahlan was sitting on the floor, against the wall with her head back and eyes closed as tears leaked down her cheeks. She knew that he was there, but couldn't bring herself to look at him, not after what she almost did.

Silently, he slid his back down against the wall to sit beside her. He didn't know what to say, there was nothing that could be said that would make her feel better. Wrapping his right arm around her shoulder, he pulled her to him and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault."

Shifting in his arms, she tightened her arms around her chest. "Yes it was."

Closing his eyes, he smiled. "We haven't lost control like that in some time."

"I'm sorry," she repeated softly through tears. "I didn't mean for it to go that far."

"I'm glad it did. I like seeing that look in your eyes."

"What look?"

Ignoring her question, he pulled back and handed her nightgown. If he told her that the darkness in her eyes from her magic was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen; that it was one of his favorite things about her, she would tell him how dangerous it was and how he should fear it. "We should get some sleep. You have an early meeting with the council."

"You didn't-"

Richard stood up and walked away, leaving her sitting on the floor, alone. "You will need your rest."

She didn't move for a few minutes, hurt and confused by his actions. He had never walked away from her before and it only made her feel worse. He had given up everything to be with her and yet, he had nothing with her. This wasn't the first time they had to stop before she had brought him to his release and she knew how frustrating it was for him. It was only a matter of time before he needed to seek pleasure elsewhere and when that time came, it would break her.

Shaking the thoughts from her mind, she wiped her cheeks and took in a deep breath. If there was one think that she knew, it was Richard would never hurt her in that way. He would live the rest of his life without release and never complain, but then again, he wouldn't need to. Quickly, she changed and walked out into the open. He had blown out the candles, leaving only the moonlight as a guide.

He was lying in the bed, eyes closed with his head upon his arms. The blanket was pulled up to his waist, leaving his chest exposed to her hungry eyes. With quick speed, she crawled onto the bed and pulled back the blanket. Richard opened his eyes as she pulled at the laces of his pants and before he was able to stop her, she had him in her hand. It wasn't the first time they had found themselves in this position, but it was the first time he attempted to stop her. She pushed his hands away, wanting desperately to give him what he needed.

"Kahlan, you don't have to do this." His voice was soft, but commanding her attention, making her stop instantly. "Come here." He pulled her to him, hugging her as tightly as possible so that she couldn't move away. "It's all right, don't cry..."

Her tears continued to hit his chest silently, even as she felt his heart beat begin to slow into sleep. The comfort of his arms not enough to clear her mind; she didn't think anything was.


	11. Chapter 11

She moved quietly, not wanting to wake him as she walked to the door. The moment her hand touched the doorknob, she heard his voice.

"What's wrong?"

Turning around, she forced a smile and shook her head. "I needed some air."

"Liar," he whispered as he sat forward. "Kahlan, what happened before, it-"

"Won't happen again."

Moving off of the bed, he began walking toward her until she held out her hand for him to stop. "Kahlan, come back to bed. You need to rest."

"I can't. I'm going to walk through the garden for a while, I won't miss the meeting with the council."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the door. "You shouldn't go out alone, I'll-"

"No, I'll ask one of the guards to come with me."

"Kahlan, please talk to me."

"It's nothing. I'm just... I can't seem to quiet my mind."

"What are you thinking about?"

Kahlan sighed, realizing that he wasn't going to let her leave. Walking past him, she tossed her robe onto the back of the chair across from the bed and then sat down. Looking up at him, she shook her head. "It's not important. I- I just keep thinking about what happened."

He remained still, watching her carefully to be sure that she was all right. "We didn't do anything wrong, Kahlan."

"How can you say that? You know what I nearly did to you."

"Yes, but it's not the first time. What makes this time different?"

Licking her lips, she stood up and threw up her hands. "Because I didn't care if I destroyed you!" He smiled, shocking her as he walked toward her. "Why are you smiling?"

"This time we have spent together, trying to push our limits; trying to give each other everything without losing control- If I was able to give you that kind of pleasure that you wanted to lose control, then... I'm always afraid that I can't give you enough..."

"Me too."

Kneeling before her, he laid his hands on her knees and leaned forward. "You give me so much, Kahlan. More than- I couldn't want anything more."

"I want to give you what every other woman can."

Taking her face in his hands, he brought her to him. "You're not other women, Kahlan. You're so much more and what we have is-"

"More?" she whispered solemnly.

"I know that you can feel it. When we're lying in bed, it's as though nothing else exists. It's you and me and we're-"

"Enough," she whispered quietly as she took his hands away from her face. She had always felt it, but was always afraid that she was imagining it. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, you haven't done anything wrong." She gave him a weak smile and nodded. "Tired?"

"Very."

******

Her cry of pain echoed throughout the room, waking him instantly. Rolling over, he found Kahlan leaning forward, clutching her stomach in tears.

"She's coming..." Kahlan managed to say before another cry of pain.

Richard grinned as he sat up, grabbing her face and kissing her quickly before rushing off of the bed toward the door to get help. As the birth came closer, Zedd and the midwife had their rooms moved so that they were next to theirs in case they were needed. He suddenly found himself grateful for it as he rushed and banged on his grandfather's door. The sound of his name in the horrified cry of his Confessor, tore through him, making his blood run cold.

Abandoning his post at his grandfather's door, he raced back into their room. He froze for a moment as he stepped through the door. Kahlan's hands and the blanket that surrounded her were covered in blood as pushed it onto the floor. Running to her, he shouted over his shoulder in desperation. She grabbed his arm, her fingernails digging into his skin as she tried to keep from crying out again.

He couldn't bring himself to look away from her face, the sight of the blood making his mind fall back to the memories of her hanging from the center of their stone prison. Zedd spoke around him to Kristin, the midwife, who attempted to get Kahlan to lean back. She refused, shaking her head with another set of cries as her hold on Richard's arm tightened. Staring into his eyes, she took in the strength he was giving her, finding the comfort she needed in them. Tears were in blurring her vision, making her see double as the midwife instructed her to push.

He didn't know how long they had been there, his arm had gone numb and the only thing he was able to think of was how beautiful she was. Her magic filled her eyes with darkness, drawing him in. Pushing him backward, she gave warning for everyone to stand back as she began to lose control. He couldn't stand to be away from her, he felt that one minute apart from her during this time was a betrayal and instantly, he grabbed her hand. Moving in closer to her, Richard kept her from pulling away, whispering for her to trust him.

The rumble of her magic shook the walls with its strength. The cry she released was like none any of them had ever heard before. It stilled the world around them, tearing through their veins with its horror. Zedd stood in shock beside the Kristin, who went back to work immediately. His grandson didn't take his eyes off of the woman before him, his hold on her hand never loosening as he eased her back.

She began to apologize profusely, letting loose her tears as she begged the spirits to forgive her. Richard had need seen her so distraught, even before when she was being beaten or when she had her flashbacks. This hurt her more than anyone could do to her. She refused to listen to instructions, asking them to sad the child and let her die, so that the man she loved would return to them. Without him, she was lost.

Grabbing her face, he turned her head, for her to at last look into his eyes. "I'm still me Kahlan," he told her with a smile.

"How...?"

Shaking his head, he grabbed her right hand and motioned his head toward the annoyed woman, asking Zedd to get more warm water. "I don't know, but right now, you have to do this. I need you to push..."

With a nod, she let out the cry pain that had been locked up within her. Her mind was spinning, helping to block out a small portion of the physical pain. Everything around her dimmed, leaving only the sound of his voice as he repeated Kristin's words. Richard looked away from her as the midwife announced that their child was nearly there. The excitement on his face as he tried to catch a glimpse was impossible to miss as he looked back to her face.

"She's here," Kristin's light voice whispered almost too soft for them to hear, but the deafening silence around them made it possible.

Kahlan felt her heart stop at the quiet, the sudden fear that overwhelmed her as she waited for the beautiful sound of her child's cry. She grabbed his arm as she leaned forward, the movements of everyone around her in slow motion as they looked and motioned to the child being pulled to the midwives chest. She thought that she would go mad in the silence, her heart pounded in terror as she reached for the small child. Tears were in his eyes as Emma was pulled into her mother's arms, the sight beautiful in its pain. The Mother Confessor's cry was abruptly joined by that of the child, bringing life instantly into the room..

The sound of joy and relief that escaped the new mother was quickly drowned out by the loud cry of the child. There had never been a more beautiful sound. Her head was covered with a light shade of red, standing out to everyone in the room.

"Look at our daughter," Richard said, his voice filled with pride and joy, removing the fear that had begun to fill the mother at the sight of the child. She held no resemblance to the Seeker.

Reaching out, he pushed his index finger into the tiny hand that stretched out in search of more comfort. Clutching their child, Kahlan leaned over against him, her body exhausted and knowing it to be safe there as she savored the perfection of the moment. He was sure that the others were speaking to them as they cleaned and moved around, but he could only hear the softening cries of their child as he crawled onto the bed to hold his family. There could be nothing greater.

She pulled his arms tighter around her, making it so that he too, could hold their beautiful daughter. Leaning her head back against him, she closed her eyes and released the final rest of the tears as he began to whisper about how much he loved them. Kissing the side of her head, Richard smiled widely as she took his hand in hers.

"She's beautiful," he whispered in her ear. "She looks just like you, but with my mother's hair..."

Relief flooded through her at the thought. She knew the child had magic other than that of a Confessor, but it didn't prove that it was Richard's. The men who had held them captive, too, had magic and now, she had no doubt that the child was his. "I was so afraid we had lost her."

"Me too," he admitted through a ragged breath. "But we didn't."

Turning her head, she met his eyes. "I don't understand how- How did I not lose you?"

"I don't know. I can't begin to explain it, but I suddenly knew that everything would be all right. I knew that my love would protect me..."

"There is no magic more powerful than love. Zedd told us that when we first met and I never understood it until now. Kahlan, when I was confessed by Annabelle, the way that I felt about her, was the way I've always felt about you."

"I don't understand."

"I love you Kahlan, but the words aren't enough. Nothing I could ever do or say would tell you how much I love you and then suddenly I knew what I needed to do. I needed to give myself to you in the way no one else could. I gave you me with no fear and I- Kahlan, I've never felt anything like it." Closing his eyes, he pushed his head against hers and tightened his hold around her. "I could feel everything that you were feeling. I could feel your love for me, your fear... I've never felt that kind of pain before."

"You could feel it?"

"For a moment, I could almost see from your eyes and I was right, it's beautiful." Widening his smile, he returned his attention to the child in their arms. "I can't imagine what it would feel like when we're creating another child."

She felt her cheeks redden at the thought, the sudden desire for him. "It would probably feel the same."

"No," he whispered. "There will be no fear and it will be filled with pleasure."

She stared at their daughter, almost missing his words as she watched Emma wiggle in their arms. She was beautiful, everything that Kahlan had ever imagined and having Richard with her, laying in his arms, it made it perfect.

"I can't believe she's here. It doesn't feel real." Her voice was soft, filled with adoration as she stared at their daughter. "She's so beautiful."

"Yes, she is."

******

Kahlan was sitting in the chair in front of the window, clutching her daughter to her chest as she fed. Richard slept peacefully in the bed across from them, his light snore filling the room. She looked out of the window for a moment, grinning as she remembered the previous day. It was the first time in months that they had been allowed to leave the palace and they had spent it in the town's market and trees. Their people congratulated the couple merrily, seeming to forget to be frightened of the child.

"Is she all right?"

She gave a slight jump as he moved to the edge of the bed. "Yes, only hungry. She will sleep soon enough."

"What about you?"

"I'm not hungry," she teased softly as she watched his eyes fall to her breasts.

He loved that she never wore the nightgown that had been made for this, making her have to remove most of her others in order to feed their daughter; leaving her exposed to him. He watched their daughter feed for a moment before looking to her other, his body leaning forward in desire. In the past three months, he had watched her body change once again, returning almost completely to the way it was before, leaving only her breasts different. It made him want to explore her all the more and learn her body all over again.

"You can't look at me like that while I'm feeding her," Kahlan said in a quiet whisper.

He grinned, "I don't know what you mean."

Smiling, she shifted her body toward him. "She's nearly asleep..."

Richard watched as she stood and took the three steps to the bassinet, laying their daughter down carefully so that she wouldn't awaken. Before she could turn around completely, he had his arms around her, his hands moving over her exposed skin as slowly as possible while his lips met her neck. Her hands grabbed his as she leaned back against him with a long moan. Running his hands lower, he held her to him as he pushed forward. She could feel his arousal against her lower back, hidden by the fabric of his pants as he pushed her dress to the floor.

Turning around, she reached between them and began pulling at the laces of his pants. She couldn't remember moving so fast before. Within seconds, she was pushing them from his hips and parting her lips to make way for his tongue. It had been months since he had kissed her this way; since he had touched her with more intent than to comfort or ease into sleep. They were free to be together, to make love without fear of him becoming lost to her magic. This was what they had always wanted.

She wrapped her arms around his, pulling him impossibly closer as he walked backward to their bed. He laid her down gently, abandoning her lips to kiss her neck and chest as his hands roamed the rest of her body. She entangled her fingers in his hair, holding his head to her as she arched her back off of the bed. Grabbing one of his hands, she pushed it harder against her, trying to bring it where she desperately wanted it. Ignoring her silent request, he flattened his tongue against her skin and slowly dragged it between her breasts. The moan that escaped her was worth the long months of waiting.

His lips covered her body, being sure that he didn't miss a single spot. He traced his tongue and fingers over her new scars, committing their feeling and location to his memory. Pulling his head up to hers, she kissed him as her hands traced over his back. Unable to stop herself, Kahlan reached between them and took him in her hand, bringing him to her entrance; anticipating the moment they were connected.

Their lips parted with a low moan and gasp as he entered her. Bringing his hands to her face, he brushed his thumbs across her cheeks and kissed her. He could feel her heart racing beneath him, telling him that she could feel his as well. They were still and quiet, savoring the moment of their love. She connected their lips again as she shifted beneath him, telling him to start moving within her.

Emma's cry filled the room, bringing a laugh from the Mother Confessor. "She has Zedd's timing." Grabbing his face, she gave him a quick kiss, stopping him from moving off of her. "She'll go back to sleep..."

He turned his head, looking over to their child's bed for a moment before bringing his eyes back to her. The look in her eyes took the breath from him. They called out to him in their darkness, their passion and heated arousal. There was no stopping him now. Running his right hand down her side, he grabbed her leg, lifting it slightly as he continued moving his hand over her.

Her eyes closed, her lips parting with a light gasp of pleasure as she pushed her finger nails into his back. Kissing her neck, he rocked against her, thriving off of the soft moans and whimpers leaving her lips. She held him the way they had always wanted, keeping him as close as possible while she rose up to meet each thrust. Her body withered beneath him, her release nearing with each moment and her magic seconds away from flowing through him. He called it into him, she could hear it in his grunts; his low moans.

Letting go, she pushed her head back into the bed and cried out his name, music into his ears. She pulled him deeper, refusing to lose him and end the ecstasy as he lost control, emptying himself within her. Collapsing onto her chest, he pushed his arms against her sides in an attempt to seem closer as she wrapped her arms around him. Stroking her fingers through his hair, Kahlan grinned widely as he lifted his head to look into her eyes.

"Was it different?" she asked breathlessly, remembering what he had said when he felt her magic run through him the first time.

He smiled warmly. "Yes, but you already know that. You felt it too."

"I wanted to hear you say it."

Moving to roll off of her, he gave a light laugh. "It was beautiful."

She grabbed him quickly, bringing him back to her chest. "No, stay..."

"If I stay here, I'm going to crush you."

"I don't want to be apart from you yet."

Grabbing her waist, he pulled her to him as he rolled onto his back. "All right?"

Hugging him, she smiled and snuggled closer. "Perfect." She was exhausted, her body slightly numb from their activities, but still on fire from the pleasure. The release of her magic had been stronger than before, taking more out of her. "I've wanted to do that for so long..."

"Me too," he whispered, tightening his arms around her. "But I'm glad that we didn't."

"Why?"

"Because it made this more... Intense."

She couldn't help the laugh that escaped her. "It would have been this way if we made love every single moment since you came here."

Giving a light chuckle, he began running his fingers through her long, silky hair. "You're right."

Kissing his chest, she began running her hands over his sides. Looking up from under her eyebrows, she watched his eyes close as his hands fisted her hair. Feeling more than bold, she slowly moved lower, sliding her tongue down his stomach. Her name fled his lips as he sucked in a gasp of air. He had only ever imagined this moment, dreamt of it happening, but the reality was, like everything else with her, much more.

She didn't hesitate or scare away, wanting to give him another round of pleasure. Dropping his hands to the bed, he grabbed the sheets for a moment before reaching for her. Richard pulled, gently at her shoulders until she understood and lifted her head, crawling back on top of him. He ran his hands over her stomach to her chest, bringing out a loud moan as she slid down upon him. Holding his hands to her, she leaned her head back, brushing her hair against the top of his legs as she rocked gently above him. She never wanted him to let her go.

Within minutes, she was gone. Grabbing her hips, he held her steady as she quickened her speed, knowing exactly what was needed to bring on his release as well. His hands tightened their hold, leaving her pale skin slightly whiter in the form of his fingers. Trying to catch her breath, she gasped for air and pulled him forward until their chest and lips collided. The sweat of their bodies mixed together as they clung to one another, both desperately trying to get closer.

Pushing his forehead against hers, he trailed his fingers up her back, drawling her nearer the best he could. He groaned as she shifted above him, his body unable to survive another round so soon. Lifting herself off of him, she made sure to remain in his lap ad he continued to move his hands over her.

Emma's cry once again filled the room, making Richard laugh as Kahlan looked over her shoulder to where their child laid. "I think you woke her."

"Me?" she questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Falling onto his back, he laid his head on his arms and grinned up at her. "You probably woke the entire city."

"I did not-"

"I wasn't complaining," he teased as she slowly moved off of him.

She pulled on her nightgown and looked back at him with a knowing smile as she went to their daughter. "I would hope not."

She stopped crying the instant she was lifted from her bed, the safety of her mother's arms and voice being all she needed. Singing softly, Kahlan danced around, comforting the child all the more. "The leaves of the trees blew in the wind, waving goodbye as their fellow friends blew away..."

It was one of his favorite songs, one he had sang to her before she was born. He could remember it as though it had happened only moments before. After the day was through, he would crawl into bed with the woman he loved, lay his head on her belly and sing to their unborn child. It was the only way she would move for him. "I like that song..." he murmured as she sat down on the bed.

"So does she. It must remind her of you."

Sitting up, he moved over to them, wrapping his arms around them both as he hummed along. The sound of her voice was one of the most beautiful sounds created; he didn't want to ruin it by singing along. After a few minutes, he rested his chin on her shoulder and leaned against her. "Do you think we created another tonight?"

"Maybe." He could almost hear the smile on her face as she spoke, bringing one to his before kissing her neck. "She will want a sister to play with."

"What was it like with you and Dennee? Before..."

"We spent most of our time together. Confessor's don't have friends, remember?" She continued at his nod, knowing that he wanted to hear more. "I guess it was like other children, we would race each other through the palace; see who could hold their breath the longest in the river... There was this large willow tree that we would climb, it had the most beautiful view of the city and no one could find us." She sighed heavily. "The trees weren't afraid of us..."

"Where's the tree?"

"After my mother died, we would hide from our father in it. He was so angry and when he found us... He cut it down to make sure we could never hide there again. I've never been back to that side of the forest."

"I'm sorry Kahlan."

"Me too, but it won't be needed for our daughter. When I die, she won't have to hide from you."

"You're. It going to die," he said quickly.

"I will someday, Richard."

Shaking his head, he brushed the back of his fingers against Emma's cheek. "Not if I can stop it."

"How would you do that?"

"I would deal with the Good Spirits, kill every man- Anything it took."

"Then we will die together."


	12. Chapter 12

He awoke to the soft cries in the corner of the room. She was standing by the wall, trying to wipe a red substance off of her hands. Jumping up, he rushed to her side and pulled her bloody hands into his.

"What happened?" Shaking her head, she tried to pull back her hands as Richard looked over into the bassinet. "Where's Emma?"

"Cara..." she managed to whisper through tears.

"Kahlan, is this your blood?" She nodded again, bringing his hands to her shoulder and letting him pull her forward to look at her back. Moving forward, she turned as he pushed against her attempting to get a better look. It appeared as though someone had taken a whip to her back. "Spirits, what happened?"

"I can't remember," she whispered. "I- I brought her to Cara and I started walking back here... I woke up in the hall, outside our door."

"How long ago?"

"Half an hour, maybe."

Grabbing her face, he turned her back to him. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"I thought it was nothing, I came in to look and I... My first thought was to try to stop it."

"Kahlan, this won't stop the bleeding-"

"Not the bleeding," she said quietly. "There were only two strokes when I woke up." Covering her face with her hands, she let out a quiet cry and shook her head. "I thought this was over..."

"It's all right, Kahlan." He didn't understand why she was able to be so calm. From the look of her back, it had to be painful, but it didn't seem to bother her as much as it should. "We need to get you into the bed-"

"No!" She shouted, pushing him away from her. "Don't touch me!"

He saw the pain in her eyes as she pushed her back against the wall, doing whatever it took to get farther away from him. The look in her eyes told him that it wasn't he that she was seeing. "Kahlan listen to me, you're in the Confessor's Palace; our daughter, Emma, she is here too." The tears in her eyes broke his heart, knowing that she was stuff suffering from what had happened was almost too much for him to bear. "I'm right here Kahlan and I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I know that I've said that before and failed, spirits, I know, but I am doing my best to keep you safe, to protect you- to love you... I'm going to take care of you, I promise."

They both jumped as the bedroom door opened and Cara walked in holding their daughter out in the air. "It doesn't stop cry-" The Mord'Sith froze at the sight, the blood that stained the wall and both of their hands. Pulling Emma to her chest, she stepped closer, turning so that the child couldn't see what she saw. "What-"

"Get Zedd!" Richard shouted at her, pointing for to leave as Kahlan pushed herself into the corner in fear and tears. "Cara, go!" He didn't wait to watch her leave. Instead, he turned back to Kahlan and reached out a hand toward her. "Take my hand; come back to me... Just take my hand and you'll be safe." She stared at his hand, shaking her head as she continued to retreat into the corner. "Kahlan listen to me, hear my voice... I will not hurt you. Come back to me."

Reaching out, She touched her fingers to his face as she blinked. She couldn't believe that it was he that she was seeing. He moved his head so that her fingers touched his hips. It was a simple gesture, but one that he knew she would understand and bring her back. As he had thought, she traced her thumb over his lips as he gave a small smile. Whispering his name, she took one of his hands in hers and pulled him closer.

"We're safe over here."

Nodding, he pushed his back against the wall and wrapped his arms around her. "You're right, we're safe here."

She continued looking out into the room, her arms keeping their tight hold on him as she listened to him talking. He told her that soon they would be home and nothing terrible would ever happen to her again. She believed him, something in his voice comforting her and taking the blur out of her vision as she closed her eyes into sleep. Her body relaxed completely in his arms, suddenly going limp and filling him with concern. Looking up at the movement at the door, still unable to understand what had just happened.

"How did this happen?"

"I don't know. Zedd, I woke up and she- She faded away from me." Lifting her into his arms, he carried her to the bed, pulling back some of the cloth that she had used to block the wounds. "You have to heal her."

The wizard stepped closer as she was laid on the bed and rolled onto her stomach. Her back was covered in red, the long, thick lashes of broken skin seeping blood. He gasped at the sight, knowing what had caused it. "It is good she is unconscious, this will be painful."

"Zedd, I don't understand what happened... She shouldn't have- This shouldn't have happened!" Dropping to his knees at the side of the bed, he grabbed her hand and pulled it to his lips, kissing the top gently. "She looked at me like she thought I was one of them. She was afraid of me."

"The magic has returned," the older man said softly as he ran his hands over her back. "After Emma was born, the magic of the Rahl blood began to cease in her body. Kahlan has been unable to fight off their last measure of torture. She may not survive this final attack." He hated saying it, but the Seeker needed to know. "She is not strong enough."

"She's survived months without her, Zedd. She can make it. She's going to live." He never took his eyes off of her, afraid that the moment he did, he would lose her. "She's stronger than anyone and this will not beat her. It can't. I won't let it take her from us."

******

It took hours for the wizard to stop the bleeding, his best magic finding it difficult to compete. Richard had remained beside her throughout it all, clinging to her as he watched Cara with Emma. She seemed to like the Mord'Sith, grabbing her leather every chance she could, despite every attempt to stop the child. He wanted Kahlan to see it, knowing that she would enjoy the sight. It would be a comfort to her.

Stroking his fingers through her hair, her let out a laugh as his friend pushed the small baby away from her as she threw up onto her leather. Walking to the bed, she handed her over and quickly left the room, mumbling in discuss as she went through the door.

"Hi," he whispered to her, letting her tiny hand wrap around the middle finger of his right hand. "You're beautiful..."

Her body jumped beside him, scaring him for a moment as she looked around them. "What happened?" Before he could say anything, she was crawling out of the bed and walking to their wardrobe. "I should have met the council before breakfast-"

"You did," he told her quietly, "three days ago."

She turned to face him in confusion. "What?"

"You don't remember?"

He could see her mind spinning in thought behind her eyes, racing to remember what it was that he was speaking of. Looking over to the wall, she stared at the smeared blood that they had tried to remove from the stone, it made her back cringe instantly. Shaking her head, the Confessor covered her mouth with her left hand. "No... It's impossible, I-"

"You scared us."

Dropping her hands to her side, she sat down in the chair and stared at her family. "I'm sorry. I thought that I had- I didn't expect it to happen again."

"I know." His words came out quieter than he intended, barely reaching her ears. Rolling her shoulders, she tried to hide the pain, but he saw the flash in her eyes. "Zedd couldn't heal them completely, but he hasn't stopped trying."

She didn't move, a part of her still hoping that she was asleep and would wake up any moment. "Zedd said- Kahlan do you feel any different? Since Emma was born..."

"I don't know, maybe. I hadn't thought about it." Standing, she began to pace, in front of the bed, trying to get her mind to understand what was happening. "I feel... Weaker, I suppose. I- I'm not sure how to explain it, but I- I feel like I am missing a part of myself." Meeting his eyes, she sighed. "I'm sorry, Richard."

"Come here." Walking to the bed, she stopped at the edge and waited, expecting him to tell her that she had done something wrong; hurt him and their daughter, but he didn't. Stretching out his arm, he reached for her, needing to touch her once again. "I need you to answer something. I asked you before, but- Kahlan, you came in here, blessing and in pain and you didn't wake me up. Why wouldn't you wake me up?"

Her first instinct was to tell him that she didn't know, but it would be a lie and he would see right through it. If she didn't tell him the truth, it would crush him. "I wouldn't want you to see me that way. Not after everything that we've been through. I don't want you to think that I am weak. I don't want you to have to save me- No, I don't want you to regret having to save me... Again."

"I would never regret saving you. If I didn't save you, that, I would regret for the rest of my life and beyond."

Kahlan stepped back, blinking out a set of tears. "You say that, but I see the look in your eyes. Whatever is happening to me- Whatever this is, you're tired of it."

Shaking his head, he moved over to her, pulling their daughter as close as possible to himself. "No, I am terrified of what it's doing to you. Kahlan, I can't stop thinking that one day, I am going to roll over and find you dead."

"Richard-"

"You were nearly gone. You stared at me like I was one of them and pushed yourself into that corner as though you would rather feel more pain than be near me! I'm not tired of what is happening, I am scared. I can't lose you- We can't lose you."

"You won't," she whispered as he took one of her hands into his, bringing his thumbs to her lips.

"You can't guarantee that..."

"No I can't, but I can keep trying. I am going to get better, I have to." Kissing his thumbs, she smiled warmly. "Thank you for this."

"I love you, Kahlan."

She leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his. "I love you too."

******The End******


End file.
